Monday, October 31, 2005
i set a new record.i stayed up till 8 plus.but dont worry people.it wasnt exactly productive anywae.o wells.and i had hotcakes to end the day.at 8.yea.isnt tad cool?!
im really bored!im addicted to 'safe in a crazy world' and i cant believe im still in the mood fer spider solitaire.
okay okay do lit do lit.i haven started.screwd shit.
i did a rough sketch at 3:43 PM
i've been kissed by a rose on the grey.
a pretty normal day today.tuition was hilarious.as usual.sent home half way cause my tutor's sick.and tuition tomorrow at 3pm at nus.amaths isnt tad bad after all,right?haha.o wells.watched apprentice.episode isnt exactly very good.tana and kendra.i know who won.kinda sucks.simpsons at 2am in the morning is good.heh.
anywae its like 542am now.im gona try to study till 8 or smth.or maybe 7 cause ive got tuition in the afternoon.gotta wake up and stuff.sighs.im hungry and im craving fer waffle and sushi pls.i wana eat like everything.i reckon my mum's gona get up any minute and shes so gona hear 'keep me safe in a crazy world'.cause its playin on the laptop.im hooked onto the song.o gosh.
o's are in approximately a week's time.im so not prepared.its seriously worst den prelims.my lit,bio,hist,amaths is relatively screwd.and i haven touched emaths thank you.why is it like tad?i dont know.and it sucks.i cant wait fer o's to end.den i can party like crazy.and play pool like everyday.watch movies.go out.slack.and go broke.yea.
one week till o's.three week till party life.4 months to party.
you remain,my power,my pleasure,my pain.baby,to me you're like a growing addiction that i can't deny.won't you tell me is that healthy,baby?
i did a rough sketch at 5:39 AM
Thursday, October 27, 2005
i'll never let go.
lessons as usual.mrs kunna forgot our maths class.i swear i remember her jottin it down in tad calendar of hers.okay wadeva.so we ended up doin vectors fer like twenty mins in the shed.before i gave up.area is really difficult.i dont get it.why why manda why?
carrie came.and den jazryl and nat.all talks bout grad nite.claire and i got irritated.they still continued.sighs.wad to do.esp tad carrie.who's gona have her red dress and her mismatched braces on grad nite.haha.cool cool.
went to waffle town fer lunch.heh.tried to study.failed.stupid school boys makin so much noise.disrupting the peace.read through trashy seventeen.which seriously has nuthin in it.home sweet home.ladeedada.
scrubs today was hilarious.and 8 simple rules.pretty good.im really bored now.and i want to play spider solitaire.there's class tomorrow.and tad sucks.i've to go by myself.argh.shit.i want you.now.its raining.rainin.rainin.
why does tonite,have to end?why don't we hit restart,and pause it at our favorite parts.we'll skip the goodbyes.if i had it my way,i'd turn the car around and runaway,just you and i.
i did a rough sketch at 10:48 PM
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
do i trust my heart or just my mind?
its 5 in the morning.3 more hours to go and im off to bed.i know you think im mad.yea.i am.i was supposed to be studyin history.but the weimar republic is pissin me off.and its too fuckin boring.i think im just gona skip tad part.and maybe.just maybe i'll get back to it later.its good im tryin to study already.its late but its not too late to start i guess.
studyin is really tiring.and boring.it makes me extremely hungry.its just crazy to be goin out to the kitchen at 5am in the mornin to heat the carrot cake your mum bought from crystal jade.its just so retarded.but your stomach's pissing you off so badly.you may as well just go take it.
at least there's still tv.with its hilarious programmes.married to the kellys,everybody loves raymond,scrubs,malcolm in the middle,simpsons,friends.they're still there fer me.thank god fer tad.and my zen!where would i be without my music!?
motivational post-its pasted in front of you doesnt seem to work.starin at entry proof is not helpin.lookin at the amount of chapters needed to study fer each subject is a big turn off.wad the fuck.god,help me.i now i'll get through this.
at least there's aussie to look forward to after o's.fer a fuckin month.by myself.thanks mum.
3 more hours.here i go.i hope i'll make it through.
'cause i am due for a miracle.i'm waiting for a sign.i'll stare straight into the sun.and i won't close my eyes.till i understand or go blind.
i did a rough sketch at 5:00 AM
Sunday, October 23, 2005
somebody bring me out for pool after the o's please.i need it so badly.
i cant wait for the o's to end and then tada.everybody watch out cause i'm so gona be partying like crazy.
i did a rough sketch at 9:54 PM
Friday, October 21, 2005
the august sky will then bare witness to a brand new chapter with torn up pages.
macs for breakfast.followed by lit lesson.slightly late.classroom was really congested cause we had a combined with 4/3.wells.claire's my eating partner.if its not me with food,its her.today we had disney hellopanda-like thing and some bar thing.quite cool.im kinda hungry now.
subway with claire,ds,lalee after lit.cheese steak with subway cookies.and orange soda to go along.pretty darn good.
ac's openhouse tomorrow.sonn,nicky and i are gona have a blast!i hope.at least we'll be gorgin oursleves at holland v after tad.somehow its a big turn off.nicky wants to meet at ten.spare me.o wells.den we're goin fer mass.is tad cool or wad?
tell me why i spent so much money on food every saturday?im feelin like sushi,cookies,crystal jade,nydc,chips,ribena,octupus balls,tad nice nice maggi mee from perry's,juice.and the list goes on.did i mention my cough's comin back? o fuck.
consider this song a testament of my devotion to your sacharrine scent.and to be completely honest,you're not like all the rest.you're not like all the rest.
i did a rough sketch at 2:33 PM
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
cause i want to learn.
how you save yourself.
for someone who
could love you for you
so many times we just give it away,
to someone who couldn't even remember your name.
did you save yourself,
for someone who loves you for you,
and loves me for me.
give it away,
to someone who
can cherish your name.
i did a rough sketch at 4:21 PM
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
this is the way they'd love if they knew how misery loved me.
i thought the crying pract was a big screw up.but the o level pract is so fucking bad.i could have died there.and guess wad.it doesnt help matters when your throat's killing you like fuck.
found out interesting news before bio pract today.its really funny.heh.wells.congrats to you-noe-who.its all good i guess.
stayed back to clean up the aep studio fer a bit.more like i got dragged into helpin out.wells.it sucks cause now my nose and throat's like crap.and i feel screwd.i think i need a doctor,badly.but it was all good,i guess.i dont know wad to do now,do you?i dont think so.
i need to sleep.den i need to study.den sleep.and den eat.and den study.and somewhere in the midst of it,i need a doctor.if i told you this was killing me,would you stop?
i'm two quarters and a heart down.and i don't want to forget how your voice sounds.these words are all i have so i'll write them.so you need them just to get by.
i did a rough sketch at 5:13 PM
Sunday, October 16, 2005
its time to hit the books.i just hope i wake up before its too late.i feel like a big slacker.pract's on tuesday.where's my panic button?
i did a rough sketch at 9:16 PM
Saturday, October 15, 2005
i've heard this life is overrated,
but i hope that it gets better as we go.
wad happened to openhouses?i think i'll be going to ac anyhow.
anywae today was good.sonn,nicky and i watched corpse bride.it was pretty good.and ive to add that nicky cried at the ending.please.that was hilarious.the show was pretty aiight.it wasnt that bad.and the singin was good.ate fried mars bars,spicy calamaris and sausage thing.was pretty good if you ask me.then we got nicky's present.and headed to j8.i bought my juice and sushi was delicious!yay!
mass after tad with alicia,vanessa,nicky.haha.retards.seriously we alwaes embarrass ourselves at christ the king.haha.but i like goin fer mass with you guys!and alicia was buggin me the whole way through.and im sorry nicky,we made you board the wrong bus.heh.tad was pretty funny too.aiight.
ive to stop bloggin so much soon.bio pract on tues.and ms ng still hasnt uploaded the thing onto the website yet.please dont ask me why.sighs.the o's has gotta suck.please be over soon.
i'm here without you baby.but your still on my lonely mind.i think about you baby.and i dream about you all the time.i'm here without you baby.but your still with me in my dreams.and tonight,it's only you and me.(:
i did a rough sketch at 10:49 PM
Thursday, October 13, 2005
today is an exciting day.people uploaded all their pics already.im so excited.
we had bio lesson which i was 1half hr late fer.and english.which was hilarious.
*telepathy.
im a happy person today cause of you.
we'll make the same mistakes.
i'll take the fall for you.
i hope you need this now.
cause i know i still do.
until the day i die,
i'll spill my heart for you.
until the day i die,
i'll spill my heart for you.
last day in ij.
4/4 on the last day of school.
the chair and the vice,mind you.
perry,me,claire,alicia,roseann.
po
drain,pin,me
when im drunk,i puke.
i'll miss you guys forever.
i did a rough sketch at 6:51 PM
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
today was photo-taking day.cameras everywhere.
smiles.acting retarded.
last day of school.
and life's good.to a certain extent.i guess.
im sorry.dont be sad.smile,kay.(:
heh.telepathy.
*you have my attention,
like you've had all the while.
since that first day when you made my heart smile,
with loving eyes and tired sighs that follow,
you have my attention.
like a shout through an empty sanctuary,
speak but a whisper.
i'll hear a sermon.
i'll sing alone,
the whole day through.
just do your best to hear me,
its all you can do.
i'll sing alone,
the whole night through.
while you sleep safely,
i'll be thinking about you.
i did a rough sketch at 9:28 PM
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
anywae.this is all ive got to say:
telepathy.
im becomin as retarded as you.
*everything's so blurry,
and everyone's so fake
and everybody's empty,
and everything is so messed up.
preoccupied without you,
i cannot live at all.
my whole world surrounds you,
i stumbled and I crawl.
you could be my someone,
you could be my scene.
you know that i'll protect you from all of the obscene.
i wonder what you're doing,
imagine where you are.
there's oceans in between us,
and that's not very far
i did a rough sketch at 8:27 PM
Monday, October 10, 2005
can i be your memory?
its.all.just.so.stupid.thanks nicky fer the new line.heh.nicole moosa i want the pictures soon.everyone in class is callin me a vain asshole now.haha.wells.im not gona deny it okay.
no kay,just gay.haha.tads a random thought.im becoming really random.i dont know why.im feelin really tired today.sighs.we didnt do much in school.the normal stuff.ms ng and mr ng were being really wierd,funny and lame today.i dont know whats wrong with the both of them.
on the way home,i was thinkin bout all the fun i had in ij.esp fer the last two years.and i dont know why i kept thinkin bout the rugby matches.the fun tad we had.i have three torn shirts cause of rugby.heh.i love my class.i love the ruggers.i love..i love..ij..i'm so gona miss it.sighs.four years pass so quickly.i havent got enough of it please.(:
today is one of the very very very very few times.might be the first.tad i actually sang the school song out.though not tad loud.but i sang it.thanks to claire.haha.celine,alicia,claire and i.fer once.heh.im gona miss it.(:
im really tired.i dont seem to have the energy to do anything.i want to sleep.i dont want to study.i want to go fer giggs.i want to play pool.i want to hang out by the pool.i want to watch movies.and have fun.fun.fun.i want you.i want everything else.this is retarded please.im becomin retarded.
my mum's flying off tomorrow.destination,beijing.shes crazy.away for a week.im gona be
this song hasnt been song of the day fer quite a while.ever since i took it off my blog.how many people liked this song cause of me can.sugarcult better give me some credit.heh.wells.till den.
*there's something in the air tonight.
something that makes me feel alive.
and I said whooa.
what were the words that you said to me.
that made me feel so special.
so stay with me.
hand in hand.
and i said stay with me.
cause every star that i see is brighter than the last.
so get back,back,back to where we lasted.just like i imagine i could never feel this way.so get back,back,back to the disaster.my heart's beating faster.holding on to feel the same.
i did a rough sketch at 4:51 PM
Sunday, October 09, 2005
ignore the earlier post.
i think im going crazy.somebody better come here and save me now.
third time on blogger.this is crazy.heh.
i just want to tell you something kay.
it doesnt matter how you look.you're the person i want and i need so tads a whole lot better than anythin else in the world kay.
whatever happens.i just want you to be happy.when you're happy,im happy.you understand me?
remember you always make me smile.no matter what.(:
i love you.(:
i did a rough sketch at 6:42 PM
im such a big screw up. and i dont get why? i hate the outcome of every single thing tad i do.i dont understand so many things. maybe im just stupid,dumb,retarded. i really dont know.i wish someone was here to tell me. why cant i change the dream and make it turn into reality? something tells me that i should just live with it. maybe then everything will be fine.
but i really dont know.
you demand to be chased for your love.
my desperate heart is far too weak to run for you this long.
but you don't care at all.
there's nothing i can do to draw you close to me.
can you take this silence like a pill so I can breathe again?
i've been trying to ignore the best parts of you.
i'm still hoping that i'll be with you somehow,somehow.
please be home tonight.
i'll die if I don't get a chance to make this just right.
i'm sorry but i can't forget about the way i feel every time you're here.
what would it take for me to be with you?
i swear i'd rip my heart out if you said you'd be impressed.
please be impressed.
i'm dying for a place in your heart.
i did a rough sketch at 11:02 AM
Saturday, October 08, 2005
the longest story.(:
today was spent with nicky alicia and vanessa.seriously the openhouse wasnt sucha big deal.i don even noe whether i wana go fer the other openhouse-s or not.this is really quite dumb.i dont know.wen to nicky's.played chongkat.however you spell it.alicia came.borrowed a shirt from patt.played round abit.listened to ipod.and den wen to church.
mass was aiight.besides the stupid annoyin kid in front of us,mass was quite fine.though i dont see why we pray for the church of amk and not the people in the church.o wells.walked under the wooden mrt tracks.den went home by bus.
i dont feel like tuition tomorrow.i dont feel like anything.wad the hell.this sucks.ive got lots of mossie bites now.stupid mossies.stupid place.my legs are killing me.seriously.i hope tomorrow will be a better day.
*i hope you liked it.i hope we get through this together.we've come this far already.dont leave me now,please.i love you.
i want to be somewhere can see the roads.a place where every time you breathe a wish comes true.i want to be where love is real.and memories of distant days come to life again.
i did a rough sketch at 10:55 PM
Friday, October 07, 2005
this is goin out specially to my darling kay.
i dono wads happenin now but dont be sad k.i dont like it when you're sad.you know i dont.i just want you to be happy now.thats the most important kay.sighs.you know i'll be there fer you no matter what happens.and no matter wad the outcome may be okay.sighs.i dont know wad to say anymore.
just know that i love you.forever.okay.
i'll always be your suck-er.heh.(:
what is it about you,
that makes me want to stay?
is it all the love
or is it just the pain?
don't leave me now
we've come too far.
just to set our eyes on any old star.
and i'll ride on clouds,
till you come down.
just promise me
you'll always leave the ground.
moving past the past that
slow is to speeds.
hoping that our love cede
our insecurities.
i did a rough sketch at 10:05 PM
we're talking about our lives,like we've known each other forever.
today's a retarded day can.i keep sighing.mrs kunna and alicia keep tellin me to stop sighin.but i cant help it.ss test today.tad really sucks.stupid source based and essay questions.the essay question was really retarded.ive never seen it in my life.and it was a test on our weighin skills.did i mention i suck at weighin factors?was so stupidly stressed and busy today.cca records.cip stuff.and homework is piling up.as usual.the extra lessons.the annoyance.hows tad fer school life?
its time to start studyin.haha.but im still in a party mood.and i wana watch corpse bride and i wana go out.and i have this sudden craving fer sushi now.im really tired.and my eyes are closin.thanks to you!im happy today!heh.wells.there's survivor tonight.and i wana watch it.and ive got to do a little bit of work.and get my emaths and amaths stuff in order.i better start studyin ss or something.wells.i gotta start on my essay too.sighs.
im really huungry.im starvin.i wish dinner'll be back soon.i doubt so.sighs.
*iloveyou.i'll never let go.
why does tonight,have to end?why don't we hit restart,and pause it at our favorite parts.we'll skip the goodbyes.if i had it my way,i'd turn the car around and runaway,just you and i.
i did a rough sketch at 6:16 PM
Thursday, October 06, 2005
when you watch the sunset,think of me.
im really tired today.feel asleep fer a few minutes while watchin pride and prejudice.so now we wont get to watch it till after o's.sighs.i dont know.ms teo must keep her promise and let us watch it!i like mr darcey.however you spell it.that's seriously the only interestin thing tad we did in school today can.
lunched at mos with nicky and alicia.i dont feel like goin to school tomorrow.for two reasons.sighs.school's sucha bitch now.i really dont get it.the song im listenin to now is retarded- certain words in uncertain times.heh.right!everyone's retarded.i think i need sleep.im cranky.you should have seen me in school today.i could have killed myself.sighs.
*im missing you already.sighs.
lets show them how to live.accept the pain,always forgive.watch the sun go down.learn the sound by following all that's complete.
i did a rough sketch at 6:42 PM
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
retrace the steps as if we forgot.
my hand hurts.sighs.anywae,we watched pride an prejudice today in school for 4 periods.haha.we're good.i noe.the storyline is pretty good but its just so draggy.and some characters are really gay and annoying.haha.thanks ms teo for lettin us watch it.heh.
went to town after tad with mich.sorry claire.we'll go wherever you wanted to go some other time kay.walked around lookin fer tad mich's grad nite thing.i dont get why she's in sucha hurry to get it.she's retarded.ate at yoshi.and got stuff.now im home.
i cant wait till sat.cause its the cj openhouse.and den we're goin fer mass.(: but first ive to get pass thurs and fri.shitt.o and i think tjl gave me the wrong cca grade.cause it saes on the paper tad ive got a b3.wen im supposed to get a1 or smth.i dont noe.wells.i'll just add wadeva in.
o and my bulb fused.im livin in darkness.cant see a damn thing in my room.wad an asshole.
*i want to give you whatever you need.what is it you need?is it within me?
iloveyou.(:
we've got to get better said,it's all in your head.we could live through these letters or forget it all together.see the months they don't matter,it's the days i can't take.when the hours move to minutes and i'm seconds away.
i did a rough sketch at 7:30 PM
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
i won't spend another night alone.
i fuckin hate you.bitch.i hate you.i really fuckin hate you.wish you just go.go go go and dont ever fuckin come back.just go.but ive to think of others cause they fuckin need you.just leave me alone please!
outburst.today really sucks.im feelin really pissed off.im gona blow soon.but at least we got to celebrate mr ng's belated birthday.haha.okay.ive to admit somethin.the plan to get ds to tell mr ng tad her mum was here to see him was my idea.haha yes my fault.i apologise to whoever implicated.but it was really funny cause mr ng brought the result slip out.and ds even cried.though i remembered very clearly tad i told her not to.so tad part has nothin to do with me.yea.hope mr ng likes his really small portion of the cake and his book.happy belated birthday again mr ng.
results are out and finalised.mr ng had tad one-to-one talk with me.he asked me where i wanted to go to.i dont noe where i fuckin wana go.there's no fuckin jc fer me.and this sucks.life sucks.everythin sucks.told me i should work on my bio and amaths.haha.stupid non-distinction subjects.retarded.bio.bio.bio.fuck bio.the rest of the day was rather boring.didnt do much.sighs.
i feel like shit today.):
imissyou.fuck.
*nothing comes as easy as you.can i lay in your bed all day?i'll be your best kept secret.and your biggest mistaket.the hand behind this pen relives a failure every day.
a star up in the sky goes slowly passing by.the lights below,they spell out your name.you're comfort on my mind and you're with me all the time.and lots of feelings that i can't explain.
i did a rough sketch at 7:23 PM
Monday, October 03, 2005
hoping that our love cede our insecurities.
im addicted to morning air.its really good.and my fuckin mp3 has run out of batt.im tryin to charge it now usin the stupid dumbass computer.its gona take hrs.tad sucks.i feel like playin spider solitaire too.
we finally got all our results back.like finally.and if they moderate,i'll do pretty aiight.i think my mum damn good.she could guess my results!haha.wells.now im torn between goin to vj and ac.my mum wants me to go there.she's objects to cj.pretty badly.long story.my mum's just freakin wierd.sighs.
there's nuthin nice on tv tonight.cause i dont watch america's next top model.haha.loser show.omg.my bro just came into my room and gave me the cjc yr book.my mum aint no jokin with my jc boy.and u noe wad she saed.she saed she brot it back so tad i could see how bad they are.no offence.but i think my mum's goin bonkers.cj isnt tad bad.sighs.
*i found a line and then it grew.i found myself still thinking of you.i felt so empty and now i'm fine.but still it's burning,when will you be mine?
don't leave me now.we've come too far.just to set our eyes on any old star.and i'll ride on clouds,till you come down.just promise me you'll always leave the ground.
i did a rough sketch at 7:55 PM
Sunday, October 02, 2005
*now the world around me is slowly blending together like a wheel of colors.
im waitin fer apprentice to start.heh.wells.i haven done anything productive over the weekend.ive been watchin a lot of tv.sms-ing.readin 8days.sms-ing.sleepin.slackin.sms-ing.goin out.sms-ing.tuition.sms-ing.eating.heh.okay.tads really extremely unproductive.consolation.i went fer tuition and i did eng compre.and tried to do lit.and ss.heh.wad the fuck.wad the fuck.haha.
today is really boring.i didnt do anything.besides goin fer tuition.the cchs paper is easy la.cause wq brought it.and now im stuck with it.ive got to do it fer homework.wad the hell.im not lookin forward to tomorrow.firstly cause its another fuckin week in school.secondly cause we're gettin back lit.and ive to use it.i hate the o's.i dont wana study.i dont wana take exams.i dont wana leave ij.i dont fuckin wana do anything except party and have stayovers.(:
im eatin my florida's natural fruit snack now.its so much better den chocolate.i hate chocolate.eeyer.okay apprentice is on.i must refrain from bloggin much..soon..
i wana sit by the pool okay?(:
*so i'll kiss the morning air and fly away.fly away from here today.and i'll kiss the morning air and fly away.fly away from here today.
i did a rough sketch at 9:53 PM
Saturday, October 01, 2005
*just look at how we've changed.
went out to town today with eedee.caught the myth.its quite stupid but some parts are farny.i like the rat glue part.tads really funny.and they combined with bollywood and the handsome indian dude was acting in it.heh.den we headed to nydc fer dinner.haha.stupid chi-na people and posuers sitting beside us.i swear i knew tad guy sitting in the next table.heh.had chicken spag,all american,lemon shiver,and cheesecake.good ar.haha.thanks fer the belated gift eedee.
p.s it wasnt a date,ring ring.
haha.was watchin tv just now.and my mum heard the ad fer still a virgin at 40 or some show like tad.and she saes it sounds funny.haha.okay.i may now try to persuade her to bring me.but wait.its m18.haha.o man.nevermind.we can always give it a try.(:
im havin a headache now.my mum just told me tad add happens cause of a lack of proteins.i told her i was hungry and she went to cook egg and sausages fer me.she reckons i need more proteins.right.
i realised i haven been doin work fer a week.time to stop slacking.my first step.tuition..tomorrow.haha.i need a haversack!my shoulders are breakin from carryin those sling bags.
*so don't explain cause i know exactly what your going to say.big words,recycled phrases,and the bittersweet taste of other boys on your lips.so now just sit here and talk about how you wanted it all.
i did a rough sketch at 11:37 PM