we got back out bio pract today.omg.i love ms ng!i love her so so so so much.she gave me one mark and now ive got a b3 fer my bio!its a good thing i guess.she deserves 2000 hugs.haha.i promised her i'll study hard fer bio.haha.gettin good grades is another problem.o wells.damn happy bout it.(: i just hope lit will be as good too.i doubt it tho.
went to nicky's with today.ring ring came along.tomorrow we're gona crash at nicky's again.this time we'll crash fer real.if stupid ring manages to persuade her mum.yea.and i must remember to study ss please.haha.
my mum's havin second thoughts.she thinks tad maybe i should go to acjc.my aunt told her she rather me go there too.i dont know.i dont think i wana go to ac.fer a few reasons.cj is still good rite.i guess.i dont know.all these jc nonsense.sucks boy.and i dont wana even go to a jc please.this really sucks if you think bout it.
*its hard to say how i feel now.i'm really happy today.haha.i really am.o wells.i dont really care .do you? i really dont know.and i dont think so.
*it's hard to explain how i am getting by on so little from you.it's hard to believe that i would let myself get so wrapped into you.there's got to be something that would be worthwhile for me to give to you.we made a connection but you seem to push me far away from you.
i did a rough sketch at 9:29 PM
Thursday, September 29, 2005
*retrace the steps as if we forgot.say you won't care.
i just finished dinner and am watching the 9oclock show on channel 8.was doin the scgs emaths paper 2 before tad.but i realised i was too hungry and i couldnt think properly so i came online to blog-surf.there's hardly anyone online anywae.i think im gona be off soon.
there's gona be farewell mass tomorrow.yea.dont know wad pictures they used and didnt but o wells.and den maybe we'll get lit tomorrow.just maybe.i hope so.cause i need to use it.then there's still bio pract.i dont understand ms ng.but i shant sae anything.i dont wana sae anythin anymore.im just so tired of all this shit.its time to give up.
ive got no more energy to move on anymore.i hate this feelin.sucks.wad doesnt now?
i hate this.i dont hate you but at the same time i do.why is this happenin to me.it wasnt supposed to turn out this wae.this sucks.maybe i should just concentrate on other things.something tad doesnt concern you.
*we've got to get better said,it's all in your head.we could live through these letters or forget it all together.see the months they don't matter it's the days i can't take.when the hours move to minutes and i'm seconds away.
i did a rough sketch at 9:49 PM
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
*tell me what you hated and i'll change the world for you.
ronin came to our school today.and they werent really good.as expected but i thought the bassist and the lead guitarist were good.however the bassist is so bloody stuck up.im stickin to likin the lead guitarist.i felt bad fer them cause nobody wanted to mosh or even stand up fer the matter.maybe they were really bad.i dont know.i just know tad electrico is tons better.(:
went fer cip today.walked and walked.my feet hurts like fuck now.i need someone to give me a feet massage please.this sucks.wells.at least i managed to sell all my collarpins with the help of mich.haha.met marie.stupid bugger.i swear she was gona meet her bf.okay.mich and i had a long talk.haha.well deserved.we just realised.4 years of friendship.o gosh.anywae mich if you read this.u have my moral support.i really like wad we saw in the shop.o man.
i feel like shit today.maybe its not the results.maybe it is.but i noe there's somethin else contributin to tad and i hate it.fuck it.fuck.fuck.fuck.this sucks.i wish it'll just go awae.if i tolf you this was killin me,would you,would you stop? its drivin me nuts.
i wish you could do somethin.this is driving me nuts.maybe its just the jealousy.i know i can feel it.this sucks.fuck it.i hate you sometimes.fuck.
*tell me that you want me baby.tell me that it's true.tell me that you need me so much more then i need you.tell me that you're happy hunny.tell me that you're fine.say that you can't live without me,you can't get me of your mind.
i did a rough sketch at 9:01 PM
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
*i had the notion that you'd make me change my ways.
we got back most of our subs today.and now im left with bio and lit.i hope they moderate the eng marks.three more marks to an a2.come on.wells the rest was aiight.happy with ss/hist.and my amaths is screwd.i havent told my tutor yet.i wonder wad he'll sae.we're gettin back bio tomorrow.sighs.wad can i sae.
i dont really have much to blog bout now.i woke up an hour ago and im still feelin really bad.i wana go back to sleep.im really tired.maybe i slept too much.so much fer startin work today.i cant even lift a finger and hold a pen.my eyes are closing.and my head is foggin.
i just realised tad ive lots of work to do.im so tired.another 6 more weeks.i need to go on.i cant give up halfwae.not here.not now.i wana be superman!but i prefer batman!o man!haha.im just being lame.o wells.im goin to wash my laksa bowl.
im confused.that's all i hafta say.
*i will sleep another day.i don't really need to anyway.what's the point when my dreams are infected with words you used to say.i will breathe in a moment.ss long as I keep my distance.i wouldn't want to go messing anything up.
i did a rough sketch at 10:45 PM
Monday, September 26, 2005
*you seem like such a big part of my life and my heart.
tell me somebody.why im so fuckin pissed today?this sucks really.the first thing we get in the morning.our bio papers.and dont tell me how screwd we were.and then wads more pissing is tad one particular person was being a major pain in the ass.okay maybe not one but a few.somehow some people just gets on my nerves so bad i wana kick them.i hate it.and den i thought tad maybe the movie would cheer me up abit.but omg.the movie was horrible.i couldnt even see a thing.it was so dark.wad kinda budget movie are these stupid directors producing.crap.but i'll just look on the bright side of things.as wad ms teo saes.
i guess we're gona get back most of our papers tomorrow.im not too sure but english tho.but its not gona be any good news anywae.den we have emaths and amaths.amaths is just screwy.den we have history.please someone tell me i did well fer history.please please.at least an a1 please please.sighs.somehow everything seems so far-fetched now.
*thanks for everything.i dont give a shit bout anything at all.im just in a really pissy mood today.tads bad.heh.
*i would like to thank you,for showing me.a part of myself that i have never seen.yeah,we were young and dumb,but it still was fun.and i guess these things just tend to fall apart.and I hope you feel the same.
i did a rough sketch at 7:09 PM
Sunday, September 25, 2005
*if i could sleep forever.would you still be in my dreams.
ive been doin the farewell pics fer about half a dae.its really pissin me off.and shutterfly is givin me a big headache.like wad the hell.okay im gona stop lookin fer pictures now.right.the whole day was spent doing nuthing.and tad really sucks.im waiting fer apprentice to begin now.heh.
7 things i plan to do before i die: 1) learn drums and be good at it 2) enter a badminton competition and try to wina trophy. 3) spent more den 48hrs with close friends. 4) get a pr in australia.us is fine too. 5) go for mission trips. 6) learn how to skate. 7) have sex?haha.
7 things i can do: 1) swear. 2) drink. 3) emaths. 4) laugh fer a day. 5) eat non-stop. 6) refrain from chocolate for a year maybe two. 7) doodle on anything.
7 things i cannot do: 1) not laugh fer a whole day. 2) whistle. 3) play the guitar. 4) speak another language. 5) dance. 6) amaths. 7) shut up for a day.
7 things that attract me to the opposite sex: 1) their eyes. 2) nice hair. 3) ability to cheer me up and make me smile/laugh. 4) ability to be themselves and feel comfy bout it. 5) to accept me for who i am. 6) not whine all the time. 7) as long as they're a gentleman.
7 things that I say most often: 1) haha. 2) fuck. 3) oh my god. 4) bastard. 5) thanks. 6) welcome. 7) asshole.
7 people who suck : 1) those who cant accept others fer who they are. 2) act-bigs. 3) sluts. 4) those who come in late fer a movie and yet do not have the courtesy to sit down quickly. 5) those who look down on others esp when its me they look down on. 6) snobs. 7) drug-addicts.like the real ones.well the fake one does too.
7 cool people: 1) i am obviously first on this list. 2) roosevelt. 3) batman. 4) those who takes whatever comes their way without complaining much. 5) morrie. 6) those who are able to rise the situations they are in and achieve someting great. 7) you.
im really bored.
*i'm bottling up your soft,dream-like scent,in my head for the ride home.i've been searching,with bruised limbs,for ways to get me going.
i did a rough sketch at 9:30 PM
Saturday, September 24, 2005
*i'll run away with you by my side.
today was rather enjoyable.first i went to meet sonn and ado.and we met really hot guys at the skate park.my guy's tony.and then there's jay,sid and a whole buncha others.we were making a fool out of ourselves esp sonn.who happens to like screamin anywhere.its really embarrassing.o and we got bandana's so tad we could fit in with ado.heh.
after tad,i went to meet mich,jeannine,majo,drea.who were starving cause apparently they were waiting fer me to come fer dinner.at five mind you.there they gave me my present.a sling bag.spongebob boxers and a brown shirt.thanks guys.love yer loads.we sent drea off.actually she just wen awae with whoever to hardrock.and we headed to cine.where mich and i played at the arcade.house of the dead 2.stupid game.haha.o yea and we watched red shoes.its really dumb and stupid and scared the shitt out of us.haha.wen it was actually nothin.its really not tad scary if you think bout it.and there was this girl who kept screaming at the stupidiest parts and the whole cinema was laughin at her.how embarrassing.mich and i were swearin a hell lot.and i was practically dictating the story to mich.it was in korean btw.so we had to read the damn subtitles.we're sucha bunch of retards.and yea and it was nc16.but there was nuthin so 16 bout it.right.since dark waters was comin out.cine made this girl dressed in 'dark water lookalike girl' clothes and put her outside cine.so many people were takin pics and stuff.and she's real good cause she looks damn real and creepy.the wae she looks at you ar..woah terrible.jean was being an idiot.kept wanting to take pics of her and with her.tad ass.haha.majo and jeannine has pics of her close up.she was staring straight into the cam.i thought she was quite pretty.wonder how much cine's payin her fer it.then we headed fer hardrock to pick drea up.and stupid hardrock people wanted to check our ids cause mich and i told them we wanted a drink.they tot we meant alcoholic drink.dumbasses.
so now im back home.ate hell lot.and my mum is sleepin.i think im takin up alot of her space but puttin the laptop on the side of the bed.haha.o wells.i dont think she really cares. really enjoyed my day todae.its been hell long since we actually hung out like this.its really fun and we should to it like alot more.maybe after the o's or something.you guys really made my day.i'll never trade it fer anything else.(:
*do i expect to change the past i hold inside.with all the words i say repeating over in my mind.some things you can't erase,no matter how hard you try.an exit to escape is all there is left to find.
i did a rough sketch at 11:56 PM
Friday, September 23, 2005
*and i can't imagine why you wouldn't.welcome any change,my friend.
school today was aiight.i guess.i mean like my life is like a routine now.get up.go to school.do whatever.lunch.come home.watch movies.sleep.wake up fer dinner.come online.watch somemore tv.and den maybe go online.and sleep.how boring.im not a person of routine.i need change,freedom.
however life is fun in school when there are people in school tad constantly makes you laugh like nobody's business.from the start of school right till the end of today i've been laughin nonstop cause of her.okay maybe its kinda my fault too.but my gosh did we have a great time today.haha.laughter is the best medicine.laughter brings joy.i like to laugh!(:
so i came home and i watched ladder 49.not too bad.firemen and all.kinda inspiring.but it was a really long show though.and i got really tired after tad.so i went to sleep.and den i slept fer 2hrs.didnt wake up till 8 and now im here.the chinese show just ended and im off to watch survivor.
tomorrow brings a whole new experience.with more freedom,excitement.im lookin forward to it.are you?
*i look forward to seeing you next.and then again i dont.i know why ive got tad feelin.and its too bad i cant help it.sighs.like what you said.im gona miss you!i know it.(:
*some say the end is near.some say we'll see armageddon soon.i certainly hope we will.i sure could use a vacation from this.
i did a rough sketch at 9:40 PM
Thursday, September 22, 2005
*sometimes i wish that we could be.so much closer than this.
thanks fer the additional presents.you guys know who you are.definitely appreciated.school wasnt of much fun.sajc talk.retreat.which set me thinkin bout quite a few things.and its just like tad.i dont know how to put it down in words.i never know.but i know something.i've learn how to let go.of some stuff.yea.its good in a way i guess.
didnt wana walk down the hill to the bus stop at first.but the thought of walkin to tp made me sick.plus v.chong was there to walk down with me.so i wen fer it.haha.tad girl is really mad and funny.just cause it was rainin and i told her she'll get fleas in her hair,she searched her bag fer a folder to cover her head.and cause she didnt have a folder,she used her grad nite form.haha.she is hilarious seriously,my ring ring.
came home.had chicken rice.haha.which was rather good.im still full and i cant take dinner.haha.o wells.den i watched jersey girl.which was really good.i think.actually it was just aiight.but i dont know.some stuff there struck some nerves i guess.den i realised tad i was really sleepy so i slept till 8.haha.two good hours of sleep.and i want more.
always tell yourself 'tomorrow is a brand new day'.haha.yea it is.brand new.im kinda happy today.fer some special reason.haha.each day brings along new hopes and many more things to treasure.plus a whole lot more to learn from good experiences and bad.that's the joy of life?i guess.
*maybe today was good cause of you.i dont know.really.its just so mixed up.thanks anything.fer whatever.i dont even noe why i did it.thanks fer everything.smile and the whole world will smile together with you.now smile with me,okay?(:
*you have to try to make this easy.you have to try for me.sometimes i'm scared that things could be.so much better than this.what's best is not right.sometimes I wish that we could be.so much closer than this.but i won't look up when you walk away.
i did a rough sketch at 8:28 PM
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
*there's one thing and i can do nothing about.
alas,prelims have ended.now we await the o levels.what am i to do at this point in time?while i wait for my prelims results.i dont wana face it.
went to perry's today.and we watch constantine.ate my maggi mee.mushroom soup.nuggets and stuff.and then they(alicia,perry,nicky,lalee) lured me to nicky's house.all tad shit bout gettin claire from the bus stop.den i had my surprise party.thanks ar.they knew i didnt like chocolate or cakes.so they got me a strawberry ice cream..erm cake?but thanks anywae.to add to my collection of bday presents i have a pir of converse shoes.which i cant make out whether they're brown/grey/something.a nike polo shirt..and a pink skirt.yea.being such a sport i wore it.cant be sucha spoiler after all tad they wen through i guess.thanks guys fer everything.though i assure you the party would have been as fun without the pink skirt. i guess surprised parties will alwaes be like tad.whether i look surprise or not.haha.to not expect anything is to save you from disappointment.and so claire says.i guess ive to agree to tad to a large extent.
went back to perry's to watch alot like love.in which auston and amanda kept makin out.now now.naughty things.was kinda enjoyable.great day with all.and i bot my headfones today fer 80bucks.i must be kiddin myself.but they're reliable sony ones which doesnt give you ear ache. tonight is tv night.jersey girl is gona keep me awake.and its time i get down to..work..
*its just like this huh.things start and end.i hope this is not our happy ending.
*we've got to get better said,it's all in your head.we could live through these letters or forget it all together.see the months they don't matter it's the days i can't take.when the hours move to minutes and i'm seconds away.
i did a rough sketch at 8:47 PM
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
*so let's make the most of this place.
okay lit paper today was alright.but you wouldnt believe wad i did.i kinda forgot the dude's name in the tractor,ken.so i called him the man.my gosh.the funnier part is i forgot that the hermit was called hermit.and i called him a refugee!i cannot believe i wrote tad.and it didnt occur to me until after the lit paper wen we were talkin bout it.my gosh.amanda ang.and mrs low is markin the script.mag low.can you believe my luck!
checked our bio mcq marks.aiight la.not as bad.but essay's a big screw.so i dont really care about all my exams anymore.everything is a big screw.just pray tad my combined humans turns out fine.and maybe lit paper one.i did put in more effort for vftb.and emaths.wad more can i ask fer?
okay im supposed to say somethin nice about mrs kunna here.cause she has my blog add and will be poppin by..soon.i just wana sae thanks to mrs kunna fer all tad she has done.pushin us through emaths and havin faith in us even though our emaths really sucked at the beginnin of the year.thanks fer being so nice even though you caught me once fer fallin asleep behind the emaths tys.hahah.okay im talkin nonsense.anywae thank you mrs kunna!
im hungry.i think im gona take a nap.but im addicted to spider solitaire.and i really am hungry.there's nuthin in the house except for cup noodles.and im gona get my headfones tomorrow.just watch out.and i wan the nike polo and i want boardshorts.shiit!all my bday money.gone gone gone. amaths..maybe later..maybe never..haha.okay later.
*this song is filled with thoughts.that we speak freely of.the music's fallen apart.friends forever.we'll move on and on.on and on.
*so let's make this memory last,of this night that we've come to claim ours i promise i'll never forget, such a perfect night under the stars.
i did a rough sketch at 1:13 PM
Monday, September 19, 2005
*well there's so much i didn't see when you were not around me.
dinner at dan ryan's on the 18th.was good.steak and endless flow of dr pepper.wad more can you ask fer.my mum's goin mad.just yesterday she asked me wen i was gona get a bf?sixteen already you noe.gosh.and den wen my godfather asked me wad my bday wish was.my mum went 'to get a bf and be more vain'. dear mum i knew you care,but bf's dont drop from heaven.thanks fer the dinner mum.iloveyou!
pair of black drumsticks,courtesy of claire chua.a new rather hot cardboard boyfriend,courtesy of gen and michelle law.(ms ng asked me why my cardboard bf is so sexy.haha.) lots of smses, greetings and a few testis to add onto the list.plus a few taps of the shoulder and a rub on the back. thanks alot guys.appreciate it!
how does drum lessons from electrico's drummer sound.claire,are you gamed enough?
*thanks fer making me smile today.really means alot to me.(: not everythin's my own wishful thinkin i guess.some stuff do happened.i wana remember this forever.(: 'wdytm' - cause i didnt think it would make a diff.haha.im not hopin fer anythin else anymore.thanks once again.
*and you forgive me endlessly,but i won't pretend to understand all of this.and you love me unconditionally,but i know i'll learn from this,i know i'll learn from this.
i did a rough sketch at 2:29 PM
Sunday, September 18, 2005
*you seem like such a big part of my life and my heart.
i realised i always blog at about the same time every morning.im gettin really bored of sob.i dont know how im gona pull through.fuck it.and there's still amaths.its all so bothersome.i really hate the last papers.somebody,shoot me.
today was really boring.as usual.i went about with my boring life.did vectors and integration.like a few questions and tad took the whole afternoon.okay actually i took a 2hr accidental nap too.but tads besides the point.then a watched a little bit of tv cause i had this sudden cravin for cup noodles.and you know you've alwaes gotta watch tv while eating.yes,lame excuse.shut up.its true.haha.den i tried to study sob.so far ive only done 5 fuckin stories.its really pissin my shit off.and of all times my markers had to run out of ink tonight.ive to go to popular and get markers before i write my drawin-block notes.i dont know if i should do tad cause ive really got no time anymore.we'll see how it all goes.
lets see i really wana catch the apprentice tomorrow night.haha.slackin as usual.im really givin up on amaths.i think.i dont know.i hate this.okay im gona try to do as many stories as i can now.i better wake up for mass later on.my gosh.and den tuition at 12.means bionomial is approachin.fuck it.and i really wana get my freakin headfones!like now!maybe i'll get them tomorrow.maybe i wont.maybe maybe.i dont wana care anymore. im really hungry and i wana eat.now!
*i hope that everythin will go as i hope it does.although i know it hardly will.maybe its just wishful thinkin on my part but that's my life.full of dreams and a whole bunch of wishful thinkin.please make me smile.just this once. *i would like to thank you,for showing me a part of myself that I have never seen.yeah,we were young and dumb,but it still was fun.and I guess these things just tend to fall apart.and I hope you feel the same.
i did a rough sketch at 2:28 AM
Saturday, September 17, 2005
but the truth is that i've never fallen so hard.
its 226am.i hear thunder and see lightning.the usual window's not up today.i think the person when to bed.pretty early.today has just been a total waste of time.so what if i didnt have a paper.i hardly studied anyway.i just slept.so much.its just so hard to say how i feel now.
today was spent at home.did a little bit of functions.a little bit of vectors.and tryin to do lit now.im feelin so screwd for my last three papers.i really dont wana sit for the papers.lit really sucks.so many stories.and they're all long,boring,stupid.how can i write an essay on all of them?im clueless.
i think i kinda blow up my octopus stick thing from old chang kee when i chucked it into the microwave.im really thirsty now and i dont know why.i finished the old chang kee.and ive this feelin its gona give me a tummy ache pretty soon.o damned!
anyway ive decided on what im gona do after the o's and for first three months.since jc life fer first three months is further away than ever.but still.haha.im gona enjoy and treasure whatever i have.okay im so excited.all of a sudden.
the sleep's gettin into me.and ive really got to finish a few stories tonight.i mean maybe two stories if i can help it tonight.then im goin to bed cause ive got tuition at 10am later on.and i really need sleep.i need to love amaths.i need to love asob. i think its bout to rain soon!
will you make me smile more,please?i want it.and i need it.(:
i will sleep another day i don't really need to anyway.what's the point when my dreams are infected with words you used to say.i will breathe in a moment.as long as i keep my distance i wouldn't want to go messing anything up.
i did a rough sketch at 2:25 AM
Thursday, September 15, 2005
*with all my thoughts still left unsaid.
so last minute studying does help.sometimes.in the case of history.was aiight.not as bad as i imagined it out to be.but den again.source based was yucky.im not gona comment bout it.look forward.move on.look ahead.forget the rest.
i guess there's some bond that the history girls have that the geog girls will never experience or know.haha.no offence geog girls.i mean like all the fun we had since sec three.every history lesson i mean 15 of us.its really fun.all tad crap tad we go through.from listenin to mr ng to watchin videos.wad more can we ask for? den there's the exam stress.and the spottin of questions.and the strainin of ears for the slightest hints durin class.and den comin to school early and trying to cram everything.and get stress over..not knowin how much we should know.i mean like its all good.after the exams. take today for example.its really quite fun if you go pass the headaches and sore/dry throats due to too much talkin/shoutin/arguing.i mean like who the hell fights over who dies first and who doesnt.haha.listen to our conversation."lin biao died in an air plane crash.and zhou enlai".."wait wait.who's zhou enlai" and all the facts wen haywire."hua guofeng?who's that?".."huh you mean deng xiaoping didnt die.oh oh oh it was liu shaoqi"..haha..only the history girls will understand.all those stupid names.haha.and china didnt even come out fer essay.haha.i love you guys!
went to eat at burger king today.didnt go eat tepanyaki with char and lyn cause was damn sian to go home from j8.nicky didnt get her cd.and im still thinkin bout whether to get my headfones or not.yea.so now im home.im havin a headache now.tuition's at 7.damn sian.o and i hope my tutor's gona be pleased.mrs kunna poped by with a surprise today.heh.my mum's not answerin and my bro's not home.sighs.i have no idea wad both of em are up to. my head hurts i think im goin to bed.
*i dont understand this.why is it this way.maybe its good cause i feel good.you make me smile.(:
*with everyday that passes by the more.i come to realize you're everything i need.and every night i lay in bed.with all my thoughts still left unsaid.all night restless sleep,so sweet dreams.
i did a rough sketch at 2:49 PM
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
*and i can't make it on my own.
we had our bio pract today.it wasnt as bad as i thought it'll be.it is passable.i'll really cry if i fail my bio pract.but you see it really doesnt matter cause no matter how well my bio pract is i still screwd up my thoery.it doesnt make a difference somehow. we drew some shit.which i really had no idea how to draw.and den we had to feel the texture of the damn thing.and omg.everythin felt the same please.that's kinda screwd up if you ask me.and some stupid leaf question.sometimes you just wana kick ms ng so hard she flews to new zealand or something.haha.im talkin crap.and stupid 'anthem of our dying day' kept goin on and on in my head.wells.wells.
hip hop jelly and guava juice aint tad bad.walked all the way to tp.the long way mind you.and nicky's really a jackass.you know what's worst than a loser.haha.nicole moosa.haha.its really funny gettin a nicky all the time..she's just..not-so-smart.we should do this more often alicia.
ive got tuition later at 3pm.at nus.im really tired.and i want to sleep.i need to study history or else im really screwd.i'll get my concepts fer emaths rite and den im not gona touch emaths and i'll do history.hopefully.i'll make it.i'll get through this.aiight then im off to eat lunch.but what's fot lunch?i really dont know.
i dont understand why things are like that.i wish i could be something more den this to you.but somehow things arent.things just dont turn out like how i wish them to be.why wont you be there?its hard to say. *spare me just three last words.i love you is all she heard i'll wait for you,but i can't wait forever .
i did a rough sketch at 1:46 PM
Monday, September 12, 2005
*looking in your eyes,i see a paradise. this world that i found is too good to be true.
why does everthing have to be such a screw up? i dont understand life and its many ways sometimes.sometimes things just go ur wae and you feel on top of the world.sometimes it just doesnt and you wana bury your head in some hole.whatever hole it doesnt matter.i understand the meaning of a letdown,now.
so we had lit paper one today.please dont tell me how screwd i am? i mean like wad the hell.i didnt see the language part properly and didnt answer it rite.that's really quite fucked up if you ask me.okay enough of lit.
i got home.well before anyone else.cause i didnt have to sit fer chem.came home slept till 1230.was really tired.i dont know why.im so gona catch up on sleep after prelims.cant it end faster!and im here bloggin now.i've to go study fer bio pract later.im not sure i'll have enough time to study hist as well.and emaths.i think im too complacent fer my emaths.and that's gona bring my downfall.i doubt i'll see tad 1 fer emaths.but i doubt i'll see it fer anything.let's not talk bout depressin stuff.
*i'm so glad i found you,i'm not gonna lose you,whatever it takes to stay here with you.take it too the good times,see it through the bad times.whatever it takes is what i'm gonna do.
i did a rough sketch at 12:42 PM
Sunday, September 11, 2005
*hit me and knock me out. and let me go back to sleep.
im too tired to study anymore.i'm gona go to bed after i finish bloggin.afterall,i've got church tomorrow.and i better make sure i wake up in time.my eye lids are really heavy.haha.my bed is about 55cm away from me.i have this sudden urge to just dive into bed now.
went for tuition today.checked the chinese high paper.i did.aiight i guess.den everyone,including my tutor,died after going through all the questions.so tuition ended.haha.for once tuition was like 2 hours? met my mum and headed to orchard to have lunch at jack's place.was damn moody for the whole day cause of the lack of sleep? i dono.jus felt moody.lunch was aiight.jack's place in town doesnt exactly have very good service.yups.den mum wanted to go to taka.walked around.got bored.was tired.head hurt. so i decided to go watch the wicked aura outside taka.they are so damn fucking good.i love them!they're really cool.attracted a whole lot of people.and stupid singaporeans just stood there and watch and took pictures.fuck you guys.they're buskin.like please give some money.this is what makes me so fuckin embarrassed to be a singaporean.eeyer.
came home after and i slept till like 7.was like o shit.so i've been studyin lit till now.i've really got no time.if you think you're screwin prelims.just look at me.im really scared for lit,bio pract,emaths paper 2,history and amaths(which im totally hopeless in) i wish my brains could absorb more stuff at a faster rate.its already the end of the week.and im goin nowhere for my history.im really scared.cause i really dont wana screw up ss/hist.mao,hitler,and my favourite roosevelt will be very upset.haha.im talkin crap. i really need sleep.(:
tomorrow is my pro-lit day.nothin else but lit.i love lit.i love vftb.
*i'll be just fine pretending i'm not.i'm far from lonely.and it's all that i've got.i'll be just fine pretending i'm not.i'm far from lonely.and it's all that i've got. (i wish you were here with me)
i did a rough sketch at 3:37 AM
Saturday, September 10, 2005
*i wont spend another night alone.
i wasnt late for tuition today.surprisingly.had lunch at the hawker centre.food was good.and den we went to under the hdb block for tuition cause we didnt wana go to nus.yea.did vectors and realised i suck at it.i better go do more vectors questions or something.but im really too caught up with my lit and history.after some questions and stuff we headed to play pool.haha.was quite fun.yes yes.
lit is aiight.i've finished the notes.now i just need to get them into my head and make sure they stay there.that's gona be quite a task.gotta remember the sequence and all that nonsense.o wells.and tads only for vftb,can you believe that.im gona be screwd for sob. history - needless to say.im goin nowhere.im staring at peace-keeping chapter now.and i really dont get the importance of the chapter.i really cant bring myself to study it any longer.i want to sleep.i reading it over and over again but nothin's gettin into my head.fuck.
ive got tuition at ten tomorrow.i really doubt im gona be able to wake up in time.i better go to bed soon.i'll just study peace-keeping again tomorrow.damned.ive got a whole list of studyin ive got to rush and there's only two more days till school re-opens.fuck school please. claire's got me in the mood for subway..again..
*a star up in the sky goes slowly passing by.the lights below.they spell out your name.you're comfort on my mind and you're with me all the time.and lots of feelings that i can't explain.i won't spend another night alone.
i did a rough sketch at 3:53 AM
Friday, September 09, 2005
i think macs this mornin was really abit too much.this morning,the undigested matter in my large intestine was at work.with the help of some roughage i took the day before and with the peristaltic action of the large intestine,these undigested started movin towards my anus to be egested.i'm having a stomachache.
i couldnt help but blog bout this.okay i'll continue my entry later tonight..i mean tomorrow morning.i've still got a whole load of notes to type. off to tuition.
*heaven's not the place where you go and you die.its the moment in life when you actually feel alive.
i did a rough sketch at 11:08 AM
*heaven's not the place where you go and you die. its the moment in life when you actually feel alive.
this is crazy.did i mention how much i hated studyin.but how im really gona miss studyin next time.haha.im talkin crap.excuse me.its 421am on the clock.why am i still awake?i was typing my history notes out.and im not done yet.but too bad.i need to get to bed or else im not gona be able to wake up for tuition tomorrow at 1130.i doubt i'll be able to wake up anyway.
i spent the day studying history at nus today.instead of doin amaths.haha.o wells.cause my tutor wasnt there.and i only did russia and half a chapter of peace-keeping.i give up on prelims la.screw it.i took so long to learn so little.den had dinner with wq.headed for my tutor's house after tad.did abit of integration and emaths.came home.did some lit.stupid themes for vtfb and im still not fuckin done.oh my god.i really dont get why there are so many themes and they're all so freaking long.i must finish everything by tomorrow and start reading through them and memorizing them.fuck no time.shit.
did i tell you i had macs at about one? or was it twelve plus.i think im gona go mad really quickly. i hate people who steal music.yes you!
*i cant understand how everyone goes on breathing when true love ends.heaven's not a place that you go and you die.its that moment in life when you actually feel alive.feel for the moment. take this advice.live by every word.love is just a hope,so forget everything that you have learned.
i did a rough sketch at 4:20 AM
Thursday, September 08, 2005
*i'll never let go. (i dont want to)
okay this is the second time im typing this cause my entry just got deleted.im feelin very pek cek now.and i really wana whack blogger.im so sick of lit.themes really suck.esp justice when you're so tryin to read a screwdup handwriting of a senior.and the best part is you cant just forget bout it cause the notes are pretty good.this really sucks.
im fuckin hungry and i want to eat.maggi mee.i think i mite cook some after bloggin.but im really too lazy.the kitchen is so far awae and the thought of havin to take the pots and pans out really freaks me.i dont wana do it.sighs.and maybe my mum should build some link-way from the kitchen to my room.it'll be easier for my sudden midnight cravings.though this house has practically..no food.i feel like coke.someone please?
so we had lit lesson.i was restless by 930am and i really wanted to go home.all that talkin.writing.thinking and wadsoevers really gettin into me.ive got no energy left.its times like this tad makes me wana be a plant.just stand near a lamp post or light bulb or wadeva and photosynthesize to produce energy.bio is gettin into me.this sucks.okay so back to my day.headed to subway as claire had cravings for it.while i had cravings for the cookies.cheese steak was good as usual.and the cookies were a little more den good.headed to bishan to get pens from popular.claire got sweets and half of them turned out...funny..well tads claire for you.our funny girl heh claire. perry's house was good.cause we pigged-out.like crazy esp me.so we had sweets first.moved on the nicky's mushroom soup.which tasted like sweet & sour soup with mushrooms to me.but wells.it was still great.more sweets.more soup.den i had my maggi mee.which was really good cause maggi mee at perry's is awesome.fer some wierd reason.den i had cheesecake.den mooncake.and a few more sweets.i just didnt want to 'settle for half'.haha.wells. and im still fuckin hungry.
ok i have second thoughts bout maggi mee now.its fuckin 2am in the morning.maybe a little junk here and there and history will go well together.shitt.
*why does tonite, have to end?why don't we hit restart,and pause it at our favorite parts.we'll skip the goodbyes.if i had it my way,i'd turn the car around and runaway,just you and i.
i did a rough sketch at 1:56 AM
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
its hard to say how i feel now.
so this is my new blog template.been fiddling with it since ferever.and its white.haha.not black mind you.just felt i needed a new template.kinda stuff.yea it is.plain and red and the font is puny.not bad .for a person whose totally hopeless in this kinda thing.
we had bio pract lesson today.was okay.its really noisy with two classes together.had a hard time tryin to look at the words on the board since i was so far back.thank god ms ng decided to write bigger.it was really big though.so many pract papers.i didnt have alot too.cause i miss hell lot of practs fer tournament.like wtf.im starting to regret it now.this sucks really.i didnt really get the bio pract lesson.sighs.o wells.too bad fer me.i just gotta go stare at all the practs now.(one of my pract papers is printed on pink sheets of paper.thanks to ms ng.sighs.)
had lunch at crystal jade.was aiight.we were missing money.somehow.wierd.i dono.came home.and den came online.so i kinda wasted the whole day.i know i need a break but i think this is a break too much.haha.o wells.wad the hell. i feel like a cookie now.shitt.been feelin like this since last nite.dammit!
*study hard!
*and it's hard to say how i feel today.for years gone by and i cried.it's hard to say that I was wrong.its hard to say that I miss you.since you've been gone.it's not the same.
i did a rough sketch at 5:18 PM
Monday, September 05, 2005
*you look so good in blue!
sunday morning - okay.so i went to get a red shirt from esprit in the mornin.and my mum paid fer it.haha.thanks mum.(: it was like 70 bucks.i tot she'll whack the hell out of me.but o wells.headed fer tuition in the rain.while my mum and bro had a damn nice lunch a baker's something at paragon.(its not inn though.my mum saed it was baker's zinn?)point is they had a nice lunch.while i was doin emaths!paper 2!chinese high!i almost died.died.died.really didnt have the mood to do any of the questions. the ordination was pretty aiight.dinner was not too bad.im really happy fer them.congrats.yea its a long story and i shant post it here.wells. had a long chat with a friend yesterday during the dinner.while we were sms-ing.haha.aiight.good luch fer yer prelims!
i've got tuition at 11am at nus.there's no one at home.i need food.there is obviously no food at home.sighs.i really think my mum should start stockin up for war soon.please!and ive been slackin awae since the end of paper 2.everyone is studyin.omg.wad the hell.i better do the same like now!nerd nerd nerd nerd amanda ang! mite not go fer shine mary shine tonight.sighs.we'll see how.
*keep quiet.nothing comes as easy as you.can I lay in your bed all day?i'll be your best kept secret.and your biggest mistake.the hand behind this pen relives a failure every day.
i did a rough sketch at 8:43 AM
Saturday, September 03, 2005
anthem of our dying day.
so i didnt go out today.cause i didnt feel like it.so now i've got no shirt to wear and stuff.we'll just see how tomorrow.im supposed to have tuition tomorrow too.wells.i better go.i really need help with amaths.and emaths paper two.sighs.
i wana watch tv.im attracted to everything except sittin down and finishin a whatever maths paper.or readin my vftb and sob.or lookin at my history and wondering why mao had such bad teeth.or even lookin through the 2 miserable bio practs tad we took back.
back to reality.i just finished some chicken soup my mum made.its darn tasty.yea wasnt exactly fer me.but she made extra.yea.thanks mum!there's tv at 430.haha.i really need to be gettin off the com.sighs.came on to arrange my songs properly in the zen.now its done.i think ive too many songs.im never gona finish listenin to them.haha.rite.im just rambling as usual.
now why the fuck are so many people suffering.wif all these shitasses hurricanes and floods and wadever there is.things just happen right.but why?why?why?i hate to have to live and ask so many questions..
*the stars will cry.the blackest tears tonight.and this is the moment that i live for.i can smell the ocean air.and here i am.pouring my heart onto these rooftops.just a ghost to the world.that's exactly.exactly what i need.from up here the city lights burn.like a thousand miles of fire.and i'm here to sing this anthem of our dying day.
i did a rough sketch at 4:00 PM
Friday, September 02, 2005
till the day i die.
emaths was damn bad.i mean like why the hell does the school give us papers tad kill.like fuck.i mean prelims were not supposed to be counted and now tad its suddenly counted.cause the moe's being sucha bitch.why is the fuckin paper so damn hard.first eng.ss.bio.and now emaths.and its only paper one.its supposed to be easier den paper 2.now what.fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.someone please help me.
okay.enough of the shits and stuff.today was fine.after emaths.i dropped by claire's house.where we just pigged out and crashed.surfed the net.got all our new songs.and feelin guilty bout not studyin.so we decided tad we needed to relieve stress.so monster we went to.our pool skills has gone down the drain.we better get it back.soon.haha.yami youghart was good and claire has old chang kee.walked bout.towards heeren.ate won ton mee.bought my ear stud.laughed abit here and there.enjoyed my day.
its time to stop slackin.all the papers have been so bad i just dont want to study anymore.im so disheartened.which sucks.i must somehow snap out of it.sighs.i've got an ordination on sundae.im gona ask my mum to get me a strip strip shirt.i hope she agrees.its gona be cool.now where sells this kinda stuff.gotta go think bout it.
im gona watch my tv show on channel 55 now.after tad i'll study into the night..i mean morning.haha.if i can even stay awake.amaths.history.lit.emaths 2.bio pract.fuck you but here i come.
*we'll make the same mistakes.i'll take the fall for you.i hope you need this now.cause i know i still do.until the day I die.i'll spill my heart for you.
i did a rough sketch at 8:58 PM
the artist in the ambulance.
amanda ang.
190989.
chijtp(sec).
acjc.
roman catholic.