its hard to say.

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

*i dont want this to end.not now.not ferever.
i dont wana sae goodbye.
i'll miss yer.

i did a rough sketch at 10:04 PM

stay with me.

so today's tcher's day.17 people from our class came back.alot compared to the few sec fours/fives tad came back.yea.but everything went on pretty aiight.everything's cool i guess.had mass.followed by a performance by dance ensemble.its a sad thing to see dance ensemble fade away like tad.sighs.then the telematch which i didnt even see.cause i was sleepin in class.and den we distributed the presents.quite funny to see the tcher's reactions wen we gave them their stuff.o man ms teo i love your present!haha.the tchers looked rather..pleased?

claire and i caught a cab while comin down from st mike's staffroom.wen to far east and had subway.i cannot believe tad.haha.by the way the cheese steak is pretty darn good.so den we went to get my new bag.haha.im kinda happy wif it.old school ey.walked to wisma.wen to topman.got girl boxers.mine is orange wif sopts.and claire's is...something wif big round spots too.claire's damn embarrassing.she walked away from the counter without payin.beat tad!the dude at the cashier was like..ey er..haha.hilarious thing.den we left town.claire has my crampler.haha.
thanks fer the great day dude!

kinda just woke up from my long and not-so-peaceful nap.i wished i could sleep ferever.im just so tired everyday.and i dont get why.maybe im just being a problem.as usual.my brother is baking.omg.gay symptoms appearing.haha.at the tender age of ten.goodness.
emaths is calling.

*there's something in the air tonight.something that makes me feel alive.i saed wooh.what were the words that you said to me.that made me feel so special?stay with me.cigarettes and open air, hand in hand.stay with me.every star that I see is brighter than the last.

i did a rough sketch at 6:05 PM

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

in the end.

today was rather hectic.and it was bad.had the bio paper which i totally screwd.i mean.so wad if you finished studyin everything.it doesnt say alot when you cant do the qs in ur prelims.tad sucks.its the worst exam i've ever taken.fuck it.i pray i can scrape through.everyone else seems fine.sighs.

spent my day in town wif claire.was pretty cool.did alot of stuff.and yea.wells.we just had fun.i hope.i need a bag.want a bag.now!

ok im off to dinner already.had lots to say just now but im too hungry to carry on typing.beef noodles awaiting.

its sad to see us slowly fade like the background music in a play.

i tried so hard.
~~and got so far.~~
but in the end.it doesnt even matter.

i did a rough sketch at 9:03 PM

Sunday, August 28, 2005

imissyou.

im supposed to be studying.i feel so hyper now.doubt i'll be able to wake up tomorrow fer church.damned.i better do.

this reall sucks.everything.
i hate it.

*you'll never realised im here...anyway.its all just wishful thinking on my part.
im missing you already even though you're here.maybe its time fer me to just let go.

dont waste your time on me.you're already the voice inside my head.imissyou.

i did a rough sketch at 3:23 AM

Friday, August 26, 2005

your bitter goodbyes is ringing through this quiet night.

i feel as if im out of this competition.
there's nothing i can do to get back in again.
maybe im just too lousy.
somehow i knew i was never meant for this.

i went to church today and felt good.had subway fer lunch with claire.and spent the next hour lookin at stuff..in toys r us.i like tad place.we managed to get some pretty good ideas for...for yea.fer something.

ss paper is a can pass.it just depends on wad i get.i felt i did less than satisfactory.im out.english isnt any better.sighs.it just isnt good.

i think im goin to bed.my head is starting to hurt.i wana cancel tuition.fuck life.

so go past the lights and all the excuses.you could have left "sincerely yours".don't you think it's obvious that I want to say more?cause anything too daring to say to you.will be said in this letter.then burned away.so you never realize.i'm here.

i did a rough sketch at 2:01 PM

Sunday, August 21, 2005

i wasted more time.

the prelims are starting in four days time.i really hate it.i dont feel prepared at all.this is like worst than midyrs.fuck it.seriously.screw life.screw everything.

good luck to everyone.

i want to spend the rest of my life not having to think bout when this is gona end.i hate it and i wish it'll last ferever.but something tells me its gona be broken.broken to pieces the moment i leave.i hate to even think bout it.i want this to last ferever.

so cherish these days.enjoy every breath like it will be the last of your life.please never look back.and never look back because you won't forget why you cried.

i did a rough sketch at 8:08 PM

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

its was one week ago we had so much fun.
thank you fer that.(:
thanks to ms teo for the shirt.
thanks to the oral examiners for smiling and laughin.
and
thank god for i know im not gona have to go through this on my own.

your perfect will,yes,i discern.

i did a rough sketch at 11:55 PM

Saturday, August 13, 2005

why do we fall?
so that we can pick ourselves up again.

fuck.im so pissed.the laptop has been reformatted.i cant get my zen disc to work.and my pictures are all gone.everything is screwin up on me.fuck.like how prelims are so close.and i dont wana study.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.

fuck life.screw me.

im feelin extremely vulgar todae.as u can all see.not in a very good mood to begin with.i need a haircut.i want a hair cut.fuck.the week was like...fuck?haha no la it was aiight.
chinese o's results.im blog surfin and everyone seems to have got a 1 fer o's.congrats to all.i got a 3.wells i guess its pretty aiight.considerin the fact tad i wasnt in the mood to study and clearly remembered watchin the last episode of apprentice the nite before o's.my mum saed its good enough wen i told her.she reckons i'll get a 5 if i retake.wells.wadeva la mum.

besides tad the week wasnt exactly interesting.bio lesson was hilarious and fun cause we didnt do much bio.haha.
im lookin forward to screwing up my prelims which begins in approximately 2weeks.actually 1 plus.life is a rollar coaster.you just gotta ride it.

*its so wierd how we can still get along despite all that has happened.its funny how we can laugh talk play and have fun.i wana remember these days ferever cause i know tad it's gona end soon.sooner den i expected.sighs.im gona miss it all.

the harder we fall the higher we bounce.

i did a rough sketch at 1:21 PM

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

its not easy to be me.

im at my tutor's house now.he's having his lunch so now.im using his nice really puny laptop.its damn style i tell you.ok.my zen is dead.i have no more music to listen to.i really need the darn charger.rite.plus i kinda screwd my mum's laptop.apparently its my fault tad her laptop has been attacked by bout..120 viruses..shit..the laptop should start producing anitbodies to get rid of all those viruses can.bio is killing me already.im even talkin bout it wen i blog.how gross.

i've been feeling down and out ever since.too lazy to study.no motivation and tad sucks.of all times to feel tad studying sucks it has to be now.it doesnt help when everyone around you seems to be so fuckin motivated.and english orals are in less den a week's time.can you believe how dead i am..without really havin to die.tad is so darn cool.i think im goin crazzzzzzy.
ss is killing me.its so freakin boring and nothin is goin inside my head.tad sucks.eng ss den bio.followed by emaths paper one.all comin in bout 2 weeks time.tads just crap.really.come on come on.sucks.

anywae my mum told me yesterday the reason why im not so clever.she put it in a slightly nicer way.but in actual fact its just the reason why im so dumb.low iq she meant.o wells.tad is because she has troub; givin birth to me so i kinda stayed in her -wherever i was at that point of time but obviously in her body- for abit too long.yea.tad is why there was a lack of so on and so forth and den i came out stupid/dumb/low iq.how wierd.

ok my tutor is back so ciao.

superman-its not easy to be him.
amanda ang-neither is it easy to be me.

i did a rough sketch at 1:51 PM

Monday, August 08, 2005

your bitter goodbye is ringing through this quiet night.

just came back home and im really tired.i really wana go to bed and sleep ferever.i seem to be losing energy fast.i changed my handphone yesterday.yea.its pretty darn cool.

national day mass was aiight.everyone was in red.well most people were.was rainin and all so lower and upper secondary had to have seperate masses.performances were cut short i think.yea actually school today was really pretty boring cause half the time we were tryin to persuade ds to do something.she's ridiculous i tell you.lunched at tp after tad.

and im already damn hungry.i need food.there's nothing at home except subway(again).i dont feel like a subway.i think we need to start stockin up.there's really nothing interesting to eat at home.boy does tad suck!

i've got nothing to blog bout.i just feel like typing.how lame and dumb.o i forgot to add tad our class got the highest fer chocomania.duh!the rest of the sec4s werent doing anything.we got a hamper and i had to had my picture taken wif ms tan mrs matthews and the lady who owns cocca tree,i think tads her.ms tan was laughin at me.maybe cause i looked like a lost sould carryin the hamper.or maybe cause she remembered tad i was the one who greeted her like this: "good morning..afternoon..night..ms tan"
we'll give out the stuff in thurs.only then will it be fair.yeada yeada.fair.im really suffering from the lack of sleep and i need food.i think i have a high metabolic rate.and i think i should stop rambling.i just feel like typing.wierd.

so you never realize.i'm here.

this idle hour just wont pass.i've never missed you this much.never thought I would.

i did a rough sketch at 1:51 PM

Sunday, August 07, 2005

everything will be just fine.
everything will be all right.

so the weekends are almost coming to an end and i accomplished alot of things.excluding studying of cause.tads kinda like fuck but wells.its 5 mins to 9 now.im sitting in front of the laptop eating yami yogurt from yesterday.we bot like the biggest take-home cup one.my gosh.yami yogourt rocks!

back to what happened yesterday.woke up darn early to go to the sciencentre.tads how they spelled it on the powerpoint thing.had the bio dna thing.i think it was pretty aiight.not as bad as i tot it to be.its actually pretty cool though i think my experiment would be a failure.cause we didnt switch on the bunsen burner.took a picture cause i needed it fer my hair.poor ms ng.but she's an ass.wen i asked her to take it fer me she saed "really ar but its so ugly" you know sometimes its alright to lie ms ng!im sorry there aint no mirror in the lab!
walked abit.saw the animals and the leopard gecko brought back some memories.ate at macs.cool stuff.

i feel for you..alot.(:

reached home.i ate again.the ham was delicious.i think my mum is a great cook.did a little bit of maths before we left the house fer charlie and the chocolate factory.got there and booked the 645pm tixs.walked at borders.read abit of mao.walked somemore.everywhere was crowded.bot subway but somehow didnt eat it cause we decided to eat nacho's in the theatre.charlie and the choc factory aint so bad.the songs are pretty cool.yea.well.its quite worth while watchin.den wen to scotts foodcourt fer dinner.bought yami yougart.and headed home.

bed was good.i was too bummed out to do anything anymore.
the air con last nite is givin my nose an uncomfortable time.sneezing like a mad cow.its been a long while since i slept in aircon.

there's mass later at chijmes.there's beef noodles fer lunch.and there's tuition after tad.and apprentice tonight.im so excited!

hey, don't write yourself off yet.it's only in your hea.you feel left out or.looked down on.just try your best.try everything you can.and don't you worry.what they tell themselves.when you're away.it just takes some time.

i did a rough sketch at 8:55 AM

Friday, August 05, 2005

letters.

so im at home now while maybe the half the class is in school.aiight.i woke up at bout 6 and den at 7plus and den finally at 8plus.decided to come online as my zen really needs a charge.i'll blog fer a while and den i can proceed to the toilet to do the "whatevers"

this week's been lousy.gross.hectic.disgusting.soul-sucking.yea everythin tads bad.still ive got to go on.its officially bout 3 goin to 2 weeks to prelims.im not even half prepared.o levels eng orals are like near and i totally suck at it.seriously.i hate all this exams shit and tests and all.then we've got so many freakin tests this week.its so crazy.like yest we had eng compre followed by amaths test and den emaths test(which i know i screwd so badly).life's really a shithole now.
and we have tad stupid dna at the science centre.seriously.do i look like i wana go to the science centre.and wad is the preoblem with ms ng.its only a freakin one wae transport.do you know how far the science centre is.wad is wrong wif you.cant you think properly.just cause u have a car doesnt mean the rest of us do you noe.argh.crap.

i dono wad im doin.but i seem to be spendin so much money.on i dono wad.seriously.my bank account is runnin dry.and yea.i've got no money.i need to go to popular again.my mum's gona kill me.im like goin there every week!but ive just got stuff to buy.

i have this craving fer beef noodles at purvis street.so i cant wait till sunday when we have the mass at chijmes.so tad means i can go to purvis street fer beef noodles fer lunch.oh man!i cant wait.

ive got tuition after lunch.i have no idea wad time its at.but its just after lunch at nus.argh.i shall drop by popular on the wae.and properly decide to get tad 0.3 pencil too.which is hell expansive.but i have to choose between payin fer a thinner lead pencil or a really horrible graph.i think i'll pay.

i want to go back to the good old days when there was not exactly so much to worry bout.i didnt care whether i was smart not cause i knew it didnt matter any much more than the size of my toes.but now im walkin on my blvd of i-noe-its-going-to-be-broken dreams.i should change route."if god brings you to it,he'll bring you through it." boy am i eagerly waiting to get through it.

i counted days since i read your letter.it all seems weird.a misleading factor.if i could i will still remember.those times we share in sweet november.

i did a rough sketch at 9:13 AM