its hard to say.

Thursday, January 27, 2005

somehow.
those three words meant alot to me.

i did a rough sketch at 10:08 PM

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

music's blasting.
mum's bitching.
brother's havin tuition.
and im fuckin tired.
im sorry but this entry is goin to be full of vulgarities [sorry to you]
and therefore if you cant take it please close this window.
im juzz feelin so tired and fucked up now.
i'm sorry my blog is full of depressin stuff
but skool doesnt make me very happy.
let me share wif u a few reasons why:
1 - badminton is stressing the shit out of me.
cant seem to get strokes rite.tournament is in 2 daes time.like tad how to play?racket is ur tool.use the skills u've learn.coach saed smth like this.badminton takes up my life.coz of it.i cant study.i cant concentrate.im tired half the time.im shagged.im half-dead.im not studyin...juz fucked.help.enough of this..
2 - competition from other classes.
heard tad 4/2 wants to beat us this year.fer like everything.another competitor to add on to our list.stressful enough tryin to make the class look its best wen its at its worst.
3 - competition from within the class
not acadamically.but juz like tad.the people.the stuff.i don wan to sae much bout it.but i hope we can live up to the "42 faces.one soul/one hundred praises"
4 - chinese new year deco
link this to the second point.
5 - chocomania.
link this to the second point.plus more to add.there's alot of stuff to do.alot of people to unite.alot of vouchers to sell.alot of ideas to think of.alot of things to do.alot of stress.
6 - self awareness camp.
so many things to do.so little time.i've got tournament i'll be leavin halfwae.hope i'll be in time fer the nice parts of camp.i haf to rush from one place to another.i haf to think up of waes to let our dudes play the games wen we haf to play on concrete floor.i've to get a fuckin foto of myself.
7 - whether i should drop chem.
focused on bio dammit and all ur other subs.chem is like im hopeless at it and its realli fucked up la okay.and i don intend to use it fer o's.i don wan to waste time.mine and mrs selvams.
8 - family stress
my family's too fucked up fer words.everryone here should get a fuckin dammit life and stop pissin the hell out of me.at least try please.
9 - relationship problems.
relationships wif classmates.i wish it bcomes better.i wish we talked.i wished we stop gettin pissed at each other fer like the smallest reasons.i wish we compromised and tolerate more i wish.its only a wish dammit!!fucking hell..
those wif teachers.does it alwaes haf to get from bad to worst.fer like all the tchers dammit.should stae wae out of trouble.and try not to sleep in class!!
with family.i guess tads one tad will never get any better no matter how much i try.
with you*...its over..
and you**.i really dono wad to sae.
10 - class comm problems.
not being able to control the damn fuckin helleva shitass noisy people class.the need to put up the deco fer cny.the need to be able to control the class and make people listen to u.the need to get self awareness camp ready so tad the whole class would enjoy it.the need to get chocomania done so tad at least the class would be more united and if we win the class would be even more united.the need to act like a class comm member coz u are a class comm member.the fact tad people haf high expectations of u juz coz u are in the class comm and coz u haf to achieve somethin if not the people hu gets it the hardest is the class comm.the need to unite the class.to get people to compromise and to shut up and to talk and to listen and to learn and to do things.the need fer people to understand tad its not as easy as u think it is.the need to noe tad the class comm is tryin and fer u to noe tad we aint the best but we're trying.the need to fer u to noe why the class comm remains the same.
there ten problems fer all of u to noe tad i fuckin haf and need to deal wif.im off now.
really fucking tired.
mentally.physically.emotionally.
song of the dae - carve ur heart our urself.

i did a rough sketch at 8:30 PM

Thursday, January 20, 2005

weekends here.
thank god fer tad.
my blog is like some kind of abandoned piece of crap.
wells.the week hasnt been too good fer me.
i guess.
the usuals on mondae.
chinese ca.late dae den rushing fer training and all those kind of crap.
put up the christmas tree on tues.
ms teo asked us if we were alrite coz she tot we were celebrating xmas.
wad the hell!!
wednesdae was particularly bad.and tad was wad made todae as bad.
so i shant write it out on my blog coz i noe people read this.
everything was goin fine till bio prac dammit.
i juz seem to get myself into all kinds of shit.
and y?
i don particularly noe y.
its damn annoying.and it pisses the shit out of me.
since bio pract was bad.trainin didnt help much either.
i guess i was juz too affected by it.
but i never meant anything like tad.
and its juz me.
y cant people understand?
is it that hard?
as much as i wana blog bout many things here i juz cant.
dammit please.
todae was pretty alrite i guess.
besides the ca's comin on one after another.
there was like emaths.den eng compre.den lit.
torturous.mr ng cancelled amaths fer pc sorta thing.
thanks man.im grateful.shall paste smth on the gratefulness tree on mondae.
had to answer 3 questions and stuff.
o wells.i didnt noe whether wad i saed was like rite or anything.
we need class comm meeting soon i guess.
we're doin the chocomania thing and den there's self awareness to plan.
den there's tournament to get realli scared bout.
i realli dunno la.but wadeva it is.self awareness is still goin on.
and female tchers in the school:
i don get y u guys hate our class so much.
please get a life.
had bio lesson after tad.
wasnt as bad but wasnt as good.
i guess there's juz gona be smth there ferever.
and i seriously swear the "vomiting" thing wasnt on purpose.
don wana tok bout it anymore.
wells.after school.
met dawn.maybe wad jasmine saed is true.
dawn's character is like mine.
so much so tad we eve encounter the same kind of problems.
but dawn u shouldnt follow me.
i get into the worst kind of shit imaginable.
dont be me..
talked fer a while.
can tell she's pretty upset bout it but so m i.
i dono y im alwaes into all this.
wen to queensway wif claire.
we bot our bag/shoes/boxes from ikea/lemonade tycoon!! so on and so forth.
had damn alot of fun.
tho the heavy bags and the many boxes and the irritatin no-size-for-claire's shoes.
we were laughin damn alot.
talkin bout the past.wonderin bout wads gona happen in the future.
talked bout the shit we get ourselves into.
like wad the hell.
i dono wad to do.im confused and i hate being it.
i swear im tried to use less vulgarities here but i juz cant stand it.
im gona go back to my room and curse and swear to myself.
im seriously gona learn from tad shitass lesson okay!!
heheh.wadeva la.
i cannot be bothered wif the slightest shit anymore.
i wish things would juz go back to how it used to be.
fer skool.badminton.and me.
its a long enough entry to last years.
see yer.
*im really sorry and i never meant for it to be this way.
*im sorry i cant be perfect.
*sorry it took so long but i gave up halfway in between.
song of the dae - save it for a rainy day.

i did a rough sketch at 10:26 PM

Saturday, January 15, 2005

i spent the whole of fridae slacking.
in other words i was doin everything except studyin fer the chinese ca on mondae.
talkin on the fone.on the net.watchin tv.feelin tired.
got home at 9 n there goes everything.
juz felt so damn tired yest after trainin.
todae was any better.
wen fer the orientation.
badminton's booth was totally screwd up.
n however hard i tried to make it rite.it didnt make a big diff.
sometimes things juz doesnt turn out the wae you wan it to.
i should haf expected all this.
couldnt wait till orientation ended.
at least i got to chat wif people tad i haven been talkin to fer a long time.
jiang han.feline.stuff like tad.i got to fool around.
in short i enjoyed myself as long as i wasnt near the badminton booth.
wen fer lunch after tad.moon.shakina.jasmine.regina.
dawn wen out.tad pang sai.
somehow i wished she was there.
maybe things might turn out better.
but den again..
things juz doesnt turn out the wae u wan it to.
dammit.don wana tok bout the afternoon.
juz not in the mood too.
came home.changed.wen out.
my bro got a new fone.
free coz my mum used her points to redeem it.
wells i guess its a good thing aint it.
den wen fer dinner.
had this damn good beef noodles at balastier or somewhere round there.
home now and i better get started on my chinese.
since tads the only thing i intend to study fer todae and tomorrow.
im juz too tired fer anything.
see yer.
liveSTRONG.
song of the dae - carve your heart out yourself.

i did a rough sketch at 9:50 PM

Friday, January 14, 2005

hello everyone.
im backkkk..
wells this week.sucks as usual.
every week is gona suck till the end of o levels.
don wana tok bout wad happened in skool coz nuthin interestin happened.
had the blahdy chinese thing.had the freakin hist structured..which i didnt noe how to answer.
wells.tads it.den had trainin..
which was shit.couldnt play fer some fucked up reason.
den coach tells me i mite be playin doubles wif shakina.
two singles player.
tell me bout it.
orientation tomorrow.im dreadin it.
this sucks.
and i wana get my bag.
okay dont wana blog no more.
see yer all.
song of the dae - threesome.

i did a rough sketch at 9:23 PM

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

i guess nobody's gona be updating pretty much till the weekends.
this week has been hectic and disgusting.
all the dammit ca.s
we have ~~chi~~ ss hist and chi dammit.
and im in no mood at all to study.
tomorrow's ss ca.
good luck to everyone.
im here slackin.
i guess there'll be a call to my mum soon enough.
but i cant fail ss dammit.
i'll get bac to studyin after angel n mortal check ur mail pls thingy.
school's been such a dread.
i wish trainin was ferever.
i wish tournament would never come.
chem prac tomorrow.
and im so lookin forward to it dammit.
chem prac has got to be the worst.
i hate chem and please dont take sub everyone.
gtg now.stop procrastinating amanda ang.
peace out.
song of the dae - stuck in america.

i did a rough sketch at 9:08 PM

Saturday, January 08, 2005

a fantastic week.
[note the sarcasm please]
i havent blogged in ages..
like sae..one week..
many many things happened in this one week.
lets start wif skool.
noe our tchers[dammit] noe our timetable.
wells.lessons were quite okay i must sae..
but the tests are stressers..if there's sucha word.
damn annoyin.
den there's these cca orientation tad i happened to be in charge of.dammit.
sat next week.and ive to do stuff and things like tad.
okay tads fine.
and there's badminton..
every mon wed fri maybe sat/sun.
and there's sci prac every wed till 330.
and i happen to be dreadin the chem one.
i don understand a single shit.
and neither does anyone understand me.
its not tad we''re not payin attention its juz very hard to understand selvam.
i guess.
then there's self awareness camp.
char and i are the games i/c.
obviously we'll be comin up wif nice and interestin and fun games.
and the tchers hu are goin wif us are mr ng[of coz] mrs helen tan and ms yvonne ng[!@#$%^&]
but im quite fine wif tad.(:
den wen everythings goin pretty well.
i find out tournament will be in 2/3 weeks time..
and i find out tad self awareness is in 3 weeks time..
juz dammit.its time to eat shit!!
i'll haf to skip part of the camp dammit.
and i don wan to.but its okay coz i'll do anything fer the tournament.
but im really scared now coz draws fer badminton are comin oout on mondae.
im dreadin it.im very scaredd coz in the team 4 people wont be chosen.
im fuckin scared.even my shit is frantic.i don feel like goin fer trg on mon.
manda face up to reality please.(:
this week wasnt exactly great as u can tell.
plus my brother got knocked down by a van.
he's damn retarded.shant elaborate but he hurt his wrist has half has face and knees bandaged.
my mum's suein the driver.pray everything's gona be fine.
life todae.
there's gona be trainin todae fer me.moon's gona be there.
dammit la.jasmine is sick and wants to rest and therefore is not goin.
dammit.eat shit please.
im too tired to do anything.
to tired to study.too tired to train already.
i feel as tho i've lost all the energy in me.
i need to re-charge.
listenin to sugarcult now and i realise tad maybe the punk version of sugarcult is nicer den their acouostic.
but den again maybe the acouostic is nicer.
i like the drum beats tho.
its time to wake up manda.
ive gtg now.checkin the angel mortal thingy.
see yer round.
peace out.
song of the dae - she's the blade.

i did a rough sketch at 10:54 AM

Sunday, January 02, 2005

hello all.
tomorrow's back to school.dammit.
really dammit man.
i've been dreadin this dae like forever.
ok i'm seriously tired.
todae's a sundae.
and i had trainin todae.
only me lai ming n coach.n stupid attitude-stinkin brian/bryan..[or wadeva]
somehow it was darn tirin.
im so shit tired.
mum's comin back in an hour to pick me up to go to church.
too lazy to blog..
bye..
song of the dae - carve your heart out yourself.

i did a rough sketch at 4:02 PM

Saturday, January 01, 2005

happy new year to everyone.
havent blogged fer a while.
too lazy to get my ass on the chair in front of the computer.
goin to watch movie later wif moon and jasmine.
dono wad we gona watch.
yea wadeva at least im goin out somewhere besides trainin.
ive to go get ready now.
see yer now.(:
song of the dae - piano.

i did a rough sketch at 10:45 AM