its hard to say.

Monday, November 29, 2004

trainin in the mornin.
tot i was gona be late.
but in the end dearest mum fetched me.(:
and i ended up bein super early.
at least jasmine was there.
wen to eat at macs after trainin.
talk cock fer like one hour plus.
walk round.wanted to catch movie but didnt coz there was nuthin.
wen to j8.
slacked.ate.talked.slacked.
home now and im slackin again.
tomorrow is gona be exactly the same again.
'cept fer stuff at nite.sighs.
feel darn pek cek now.
and im havin a headache..
headache sucks.
paean's buggin me to go fer his future band perfermances.
and i noe how to sing second storey's songs okay..
rite..haha..and that stupid idiot wants to drive me home.
one word - retard.
i realli wana play pool.
you!!come and play wif me now.
im goin mad.
off to watch happy fish.
song of the dae - playing favorites.

i did a rough sketch at 6:51 PM

Saturday, November 27, 2004

sentosa thing todae was cancelled..
coz too many people couldnt make it?
think marie is darn pissed.
tuition was postponed till tomorrow.
slept the whole dae todae.
woke up to eat lunch and watch cartoons?
heheh..den wen back to sleep again.
now im awake fer dinner.
nah im not gona go back to sleep again.
fuck are u kiddin.
i doubt i'll be able to get to bed tonite.
i wana pla pool.
pool is good.
its a stress reliever..
better den the one on mr ng's blog.
tad guy is blahdy lame.please.
i need the emaths tys.
i don think they sell it anymore.
crazy.shitt should haf gone down to brash basah to check.
they most prob should haf it.
k.dinner here i come.
song of the dae - threesome.

i did a rough sketch at 6:56 PM

Thursday, November 25, 2004

trainin in the mornin.
i so wanted to stae at home...
and conntinue sleepin..
managed to get tad fat ass outta the bed.
surprise surprise.
coach was there at trainin.
fuck.
he supposed to be at some course.
and i tot i could sleep durin trainin..
wells..played this pretty cool game durin trainin.
was fun.
new tcher was there.ms gwee?gui?
its juz g-something.
she doesnt do much tho.
juz sits round.read her magazine.
and watch ij badminton team make fools outta emselves.
but thats beside the point.
okay.so todae i pang seh-ed dawn jasmine huay shan
sorry.not like i wanted it.
wells there's tomorrow and i hope it doesnt rain.
the rain sucks.esp wen u're in town..tryin to haf fun.
todae was a sucky?good? dae..
sucky coz i had to take a cab from the bus stop to my house.
the bus stop is like wot..less den 1km awae.
but it had to be fuckin rainin.and so heavily u cant walk in it.
its sucha waste of money plus its awfully retarded doin so.
but im retarded remember?
good dae coz mum picked me up.(:
i love my mummy.(:
song of the dae - fall

i did a rough sketch at 11:40 PM

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

mandaR.in.the.house.
tuition was cancelled todae.
studyin wif claire was oso cancelled.
felt like shit this mornin wen i woke up.
still feelin like one.
sorry claire.
finally got my kinky ass outta the house.
woke up at like 1plus?
im good huh.
wells i slept late last nite.
dunno y i keep feelin tired.
wen to westmall.
got my ass into popular.
no fuckin emaths tys.
no fuckin nuthin.
so in the end i got my purple pen and lead.
fuck the popular.dammit.
cant they get the emaths tys.
i should go back to watchin cartoons wif my bro.
i need to find something tads fuckin productive.
someone tell me wad.
trainin tomorrow.cool.
no coach.juz hittin round.
fuckin cool.considerin the fact we mite be catchin a movie after.
i need to get a life please.
song of the dae - piano.

i did a rough sketch at 4:39 PM

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

i'm like dreadin everydae of my life.
its 1225 n im very boredd.
i've totally nuthin to do.
i wana go play pool.
but its so far awae.
and im very lazy to go all the wae to town.
plus ive got something on later at 7.
wonder wen trainin's gona start...
soon?i hope.
maybe i'll watch some vcds later.
prob do me some good.
i need to go to popular to get some stuff.
but fuck im too lazy to.
seriously trainin better start so i'll get tad kinky ass outta the house.
im fuckin hungry n i need fuckin food.
ciao.
song of the dae - threesome.

i did a rough sketch at 1:24 PM

Monday, November 22, 2004

tell me something that would break my heart.
so its time to update.
yonex finals yesterdae was good.
at least johansson won.he's good.
stupid malaysian guy.
nice ladies doubles match too.
exciting.fun.
someone remind me never to sit wif dear daelin jasmine again.
EVEN if she saes she has no voice.
she's the idiot screamin the loudiest there.
my bro juz wen to get lunch.
and i juz realised tad i fergot to take my medicine..darn.
will take it after lunch.
shittcrap.how could i ferget.
been coughin so much fer the last few daes now my stomach area hurts.
fuck it.
gona go off and watch tv?
y is everyone so hardworking....except me?
au revior
song of the dae - piano.

i did a rough sketch at 1:06 PM

Friday, November 19, 2004

hold on to the light that guards you.
hold on the the air that cools you.
hold on..hold on..
to me.

so blogs aint tad laggin now.
its the stupid tagboard i swear.
cant they get it fixed asap.
stupid shit.

so much fer goin fer trainin todae.
woke up and found out tad the fever came back.
wad the hell k.
bloody shit.
in the end i had to go see a doctor.
so guess wad.
i've got some throat infection.
my whole throat was freakin painful..
and still is..
doc saed its darn red esp the left side.
i tot i was gona die this mornin..
seriously felt like shit.

i haf tuition tomorrow.
hope im well enough to go.
and on sun i've got the yonex finals.
hope im well enough to go.
or else there goes 13bucks down the drain.

gona watch tv now.
peace out.
song of the dae - fall

i did a rough sketch at 5:23 PM

Thursday, November 18, 2004

and so i fall.
i don wana feel this small.
u noe i juz cant handle this.
handle this at all.
and i juz fall.
i let my heartbeat drop.
i falter as the music stops.
and u watch me as i stop.
and wonder when i ...
fall.

i seriously dunno why im bloggin.
esp wen i cant even see my entries meanin others prob cant see it.
and the blogs now take ferever to load.
stupid tagboard.
cant they fix it like right NOW.
didnt go fer trainin again.
fever was like 39.2 this mornin.
my throat feels bad and shitty and im coughin.
fever's gone down a whole lot now.
there's like no more fever.
but juz wait..
it'll be back in no time.
annoyin..
still im gona go fer trainin tomorrow.
i'll juz do wieghts or smth.
i cant keep missin trainin..
its bad..
and i dunno if the rest took attendance and stuff.
song of the dae - fall

i did a rough sketch at 11:31 AM

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

let's try this all again.only faster now.
is it my com or wad..
i cant seem to read blogs coz they take darn long to load.
and i cant see my tagboard or any other tagboards.
sighs.so there's practically nuthin to do online..
except bloggin and friendster.
wad the hell...
so wen i tot my fever was gone..
it came back again..
shot up to 39 degrees..
took panadal and its still at 38..
2 mins to happy fish.
ciao.
song of the dae - threesome.

i did a rough sketch at 6:55 PM

i didnt go fer training todae.
im sickk.
wad the hell.
was havin fever since yesterdae after trainin.
was only slight.37.7degrees.
but in the middle of the nite..actualli it was like 3am.
my fever wen up to 38.6..
woke up in at like 7..took panadol.
fever's gone.im like well again.altho there's still a lil'bit of cough.
haven got fever since p6.wells.
wanted to go fer trainin but mum saed no..better don..later fever comes back again.
so yea wadeva..im stuck at home now.
feel kinda guilty not goin fer trainin.plus im not even sick anymore.
im supposed to take the stupid attendance and collect 5 bucks.shitt la.
im gona go back to sleep after this.
blogger is laggin.
i cant get into any blogs.
takin a humongous time to load.and i cant see tagboards.
wad the hell..y are computers so screwd up?
i've nuthin to sae now..i wana go to bed..nite..
song of the dae - piano

i did a rough sketch at 8:38 AM

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

im very boredd here okae!!

wait fer me to move out west.
i don care if u don.
i hope u noe u're my favorite thing.
about the west coast.
i wish i staed.
i hope i wait.
so here i m.
counting down the daes till california comes.

i did a rough sketch at 9:45 AM

Monday, November 15, 2004

never gona get it right.
and so todae woke up at some disgustin hour of the mornin.
wen back to sleep again.
this time i woke up at 12.
heheh.im good.
watched tv..
cartoons.soccer.badminton.sitcoms.mtv awards.
slept again.nope.actualli juz lyin on the bed listenin to music.
woke up.dinner.watched happy fish.
now im online.
askin michelle law to write me a testi.
i swear this gal is studyin too hard.
and im slackin right here.
she makes me feel very bad.
i kinda lost all the drive and motivations to study/work
tads kinda bad coz everyone is doin juz tad.
tomorrow is a longg dae again.
im so sick of this.sighs.
badminton at 12-3plus.
i think im gona wake up early.
and studdy?[u gotta be kiddin manda]
den i've got a date wif dawn.jasmine.huay shan.
and im not like huay shan to pang sei people.
rite.and there goes my life.
nite i've got some stuff on and den i'll be missin the last episode of the champs.
how sad.but high priority comes first.):
im gona go write michelle law a testi now..
see ya.peace.
song of the dae - jude law and a semester abroad.

i did a rough sketch at 8:19 PM

Sunday, November 14, 2004

confirmation - one step closer to god.
my thank yous.
first of all.
i would like to thank everyone hu came all the wae down to church to support us.
thank god u did or else u wouldnt haf known tad holy cross actualli has such wonderful youth chior.jazz-y[those hu wen would know wad i mean] and good.
sorry i had to zhao fast.
had to go fer dinner wif my godpa.
secondly.
i would like to thank the facilitators
fer the past one yr.yer guys haf alwaes been there fer us.
and even tho sometimes we may get on ur nerves coz we were tokin or doin shit
we still love yer all the same.
third
all the rest of the confirmants in my cath class.
some i got to noe only on the last few daes coz i never mingled wif dem.
charmaine.isabel.tymsyn.petrina.bernie.amelia.pp.charleen.johnF.nicholas.francine.
sorry fer some spellin mistakes.
then there's those in group E.
louisa.ian.sherman.philip.vicky.catherine.aaron.purselyn.and someone..i cant remember his name..
electrofryin.eccentric.and all those shit.
i swear this group of people are the best.
last but not least.
god.
i thank him fer the times he was there by my side.
[even tho there were times i couldnt feel his presence]
i thank him fer helpin me pull through those rough paths in life.
i thank him fer the times he touched my heart.
i thank him fer everything.
end of thank-yous.
this is one helluva long entry man.all my thank yous and reflections stuffed in one.
sorry to all those people hu even bother readin this.
its been 12 yrs.
12 yrs of cath class before todae.
12 yrs of my life for 3 seconds of the archbishop's time.
n now everything is over.
12 yrs fer 2 sacrements.
first holy communion.
confirmation.
wads next..
sacrement of holy orders/sacrement of matrimony.
heheh.
sometimes it makes me wonder.
did i waste these 12yrs of my life?
because at the end of the dae..look at me..
i don feel as tho god has touched me and i don feel any holier.
and den i look at it again.
and i realised tad god has indeed touched my heart in many waes.
so i didnt waste 12yrs?
i dunno.
life's juz too complex.its stupid.its hard.
i dun wish to understand it any further.
i juz wana understand myself and some other stuff.
this entry is long enough.i don wana type anymore.its almost mid nite.i wan to eat mamee.
song of the dae - threesome

i did a rough sketch at 11:06 PM

wait.fer.me.to.come.home.soon.
confirmation is in 17 hrs time.
im havin mixed feelins.
not excited.definitely not lookin forward to it.
confirmation to me is like..well..a graduation..
no more cath class..thank god.
only goin to church on sundaes fer mass..
meaning time spent in church would be a grand total of..
one hour and 5 mins.
5 mins fer walkin frm car to main church and main church to car.
den again i don wan confi to come.
i don feel ready to be confirmed anywae.
how can a sundae catholic sae
i'm ready to get confirmed as a catholic wen the truth is i only go to church on sundae.
and i don even do quiet time.
but its here and ready or not im gona haf to accept it.
confirmation is being one step closer to god.
juz realised tad a gizillion people are comin fer the confi mass tmr.
im not actualli lookin ferward to seein this gizillion people.
i hope i don make a fool of myself and trip and fall.
my ankle boots are comfy but high...
and my deary petrina tan is goin around tellin everyone i'm gona dress like elvis.
coz im not.my pants got its bells cut awae..was too long..):
my nice nice collar shirt is unwearable..
now i'm wearin smth else which make me look like some college kid out of high skool.
stuck in the 70s.
but its ok.im gona be the only one stuck there so nvm.
actualli its pretty aiight la.
and im only gona wear it fer a few hours.
gona watch tv now.at 1251 in the mornin.
ciao.
song of the dae - playing favourites.

i did a rough sketch at 1:38 AM

Saturday, November 13, 2004

im like bloggin everydae.every hour now.
there's juz nuthin to do..
tad juz goes to show how much time studyin takes up.
im boredd.i think my shit is gona come out any minute.
i got my cueeeee...american flagg crapp.
happy happy.
gona haf to go shower in like 5 mins.
gotta prepare fer church.
todae's confession dae.before confi.
its kinda draggy plus i think we haf p&w.
dunno wad time we'll finish.
meanin i most prob. cant make it fer claire's confi.sorry gal.
was writin testis fer everyone.was in the mood to do so.
havin a splittin headache now.
hols are here now..
some things i'll wana do..
1 - dye my hair yellow.haha.rite.its gona be red.or brown?
2 - play pool everydae.
3 - watch movies every other dae.
4 - play badminton properly.
5 - hang out and haf fun.
6 - try my best to be a bigger ass.
[its a very big challenge to try to be a bigger ass.since im alreadi sucha big one..]
7 - appreciate myself more.
its one..i gtg now..i hope my partner doesnt pang sei me and go to church laterr.if not i'll haf no one..to tok too..
peace.
song of the dae - fall.

i did a rough sketch at 1:51 PM

Friday, November 12, 2004

things.you.do.wen.you.are.bored.
[spell your name back wards]
-gna adnama
[the story behind your email address]
-no idea,had it since..p5..or 4.
[where do you live?]
-slum.
DESCRIBE YOUR?
[wallet]
-billabong browny thing.
[shoes]
-black vans.
[favourite shirt]
-the new addidas shirt..my pullover actually.
[piercing]
-8.
[hair]
-normal.and brown?
[makeup]
- er..none.
[something you're looking forward to in theupcoming months]
-badminton?haha.pool?..
[something that you are deathly afraid of?]
-unwanted.[let ur imagination run wild]
[do you believe in love]
-i guess.
[do you believe in forgiveness]
-yea.or else i'll have died long time ago.people'll be hackin me to death.
[where are 3 places you wouldn't mind relocating to]
-anywhere tad has love in the atmosphere.
[favorite foods?]
-beef noodles.no doubt.
[is there something you wish you could understand better]
-yea.myself.
[my father thinks i am]
-im not sure if he even thinks of me.
[my mother thinks i am]
-ask my mum..messy..tads fer sure.
[my sibling think that i am]
-i bet my bro thinks im an ass.haha.
[best qualities]
-being a fucked up dude.
[worst qualities]
-my guts get on people's nerves.i swear they do.
[i get embarrassed when]
-haha.i dono.embarrassed by my stupidity.
[what makes me happy]
-my bed.
[upsets me]
-the world.
YES OR NO?
[you like to cook ]-hahah,,yea!!
[you have a secret you have not shared with anyone] -yea.
LAST?
[song you listened to]
-threesome.
[person you've called]
-mum-ster.
[person that's called you] -mum-ster.
[person u sms] -mum-ster.
[TV show you've watched]-happy fish.
[thing you were thinking about]
-wad im gona think bout wen this qs comes.
[u think about suicide]
-most of the time.
[others find you attractive]
-definitely.im amanda ang man!
[you drink] -some guava thing.
[you like roller coasters] -not exactly.
[you write in cursive or print] -haha.er..shitty print.and even more shitty cursive.
[you carry a donor card]
-nope.
[you have a crush on somebody]
-not at the moment.
[lied to someone]
-if i saed no i'll be lyin to u.
[ever been in a fist fight]
-ýea.wif my bro.
[ever been arrested]
-nope.
WHAT?
[shampoo do you use]
-er.some blue one.
[what do you notice first in a guy/girl]
-eyes?
WHO?
[makes you laugh the most]
-isnt tad hard to make me laugh..myself..
[has a crush on you]
-like i'll noe.
[last time you did something]
-arent we doin somethin every min of the dae?
[last time you were totally free]
-juz now.
[whats your favourite colour]
- red.orange.yellow.
[what are you planning to do tomorrow]
- church.
end.of.my.o.so.boring.quiz.

i did a rough sketch at 7:39 PM

Thursday, November 11, 2004

never.gona.get.it.right.
sae im never gona get it.right.
still online.chattin.
wells.i guess we only understand certain things till its over.
and now its over.its a pity.but its over.
so i finally got all my confi clothes.
im gona look like a college kid.
my mum thinks its nice..y??
coz she bot it..
i realli cannot be bothered to get it myself.
ate nice nice arnold chicken.
wen to the malay part of geylang.must tell shakina tmr durin trg.
nice nice food there.food is good.
tomorrow is another boring dae..
trainin in the mornin till 12 plus.
gona eat lunch wif jasmine and dono hu else..
den gona go get a cue.
tuition is cancelled.
im very excited.im gona get a cue.im gona spend money.im gona become broke.
rite manda.somemore gettin cheap one.
i can see my 50-70 bucks flyin awae.
gona go blog-surfin.
peace.
song of the dae - playing favourites.

i did a rough sketch at 10:53 PM

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

i'm sailing into a very GREY sky mornin.
my com is finally done.so yea back to bloggin and stuff.but its kinda screwd.abit laggy.think there's some shit virus.
yea so wadeva.
chem retest is in 1hrs.
and im still at home.mum woke up late.
wells.wish me luck man.
i can feel the failin sensation in me.
and i cant be bothered anymore.
scully this cant be bothered feelin turn out like amaths paper.and i fail.
wells.trainin after tad.
sighs.we've had trainin whole week.
at least i get to see my juniors.
ok i needa go pack my stuff and all.
au voir.
song of the dae - some song by raves.i cant remember the title.everydae/everything.or smth like tad.

i did a rough sketch at 6:59 AM

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

grey.sky.morning.
everyone is studyin.
wad the hell.
m i the only one slacking.
somebody please sae no.
goin out later wif mich.
gona get my badminton shirt coz thanks to rugby all my shirts are gone.
class shirt is dirrty like shit.stain cant seem to go.
walkathon shirt tore.major hole at the armpits!!
yea.so i think i should juz go look fer a badminton shirt.
at least it'll b nice.
mite get the "once a siant.alwaes a saint" shirt.
like it.plus i need a black shirt.[to go wif my white shorts.i got no shirts fer my white shorts]
took 50 bucks from dad last nite.
i have no money.im goin broke.
my mum didnt leave money fer me fer lunch todae.
suppose to eat beef balls wif mich todae oso.
somehow i gtg find money.
yea.im tired.fer some reason i woke up at 4am.couldnt sleep till 5plus.
stupid bro woke me up at 6plus coz he wanted to use my bag.
tried to get back to sleep.
woke up at 8.
crap.and there's a chem retest next wed.
somehow im not bothered by it at all.
i think im gona fail anywae.
but they cant force u to drop chem.
i need to sleep.
good nite.
song of the dae - grey sky mornin?

i did a rough sketch at 9:28 AM

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

once a saint.
ferever a saint.
juz balls.im gona be late.
shit.must leave house in 5 minutes?
ok.had trainin todae.
shithead tirin.
coach brot our next yr badminton shirt.
fuck its nice.
plus its made of dri-fit material.
lunched at mos wif jasmine and dawn.
talked fer darn long.
had nice long chat wif jasmine[dawn left us to go home to wiat fer the part time maid?]
rite.so now im home and i gtg off.darn its 6.
peace out.
song of the dae - hello houston.[starting line]

i did a rough sketch at 5:55 PM

Monday, November 01, 2004

juz.balls.please.
fuck.
feel darn guilty.
its fuckin dae of obligation.
and im sittin here.
mum finds out.im fuckiin screwd.
im gona do penance n make sure i go fer confession.
shit.fuck.this sucks.
ok so we had trainin this morning.
cool.now i wana go to bed.
im darn tired.
there's trainin tomorrow again.and tomorrow's trainin is trainin trainin.
todae we only ran 10 rounds n played games.
tomorrow's gona be shit.
drills.footwork.play.drills.play.run.play.
i wana be in the fuckin team.so must train.
darn tired now.
not gona bother bout chem todae.even tho i saed i would.
im sucha fuckin shithead.
good nite world.
song of the dae - we're all to blame.

i did a rough sketch at 5:16 PM