Thursday, September 30, 2004

we were meant to live for so much more.
its juz 8 more daes.
8 more daes and its over.
8 more daes and i can forget bout my future.
8 more daes and im gona lose every fuckin thing.
8 more daes and there goess..
im sucha screw up.
its like so faarr awae..
its so hard to reach..
fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.

i did a rough sketch at 7:20 PM

Sunday, September 26, 2004

it aint tad hard.it cant be tad hard.im tryin so hard.
so let me get there.
if ever i dont den i'll noe.
tad this is not your wish fer me.
but how can that be.
i promised wen i was young
and you granted my wish.
now i owe u something
and i hope this is it.
so please give it me to ..
so long its your will wherever i'll go.

fuck.i juz did tad.its from the bottom of my heart.didnt noe im so talented.yea.wadeva.

i'll take you away from that empty apartment.
you stay and forget where the heart is.
someday if ever you love me you'll say it's ok.

It's okay to be angry and never let go.
It only gets harder the more that you know.
When you get lonely if no one's around.
You know that I'll catch you when you're falling down.
We came together but you left alone.
And I know how it feels to walk out on your own.
Maybe someday I will see you again.
And you'll look me in my eyes and call me your friend.

i did a rough sketch at 7:31 PM

Friday, September 24, 2004

its the end of the week.
fuck.this entry is gona be vulgar so if u cant take it..juz go awae.
i think wadeva ms ng[thanks to me] saed bout being refined ij gals.and not havin tad "wild image" juz wen into the right ear and came out of the left.im juz in a fuckin screwd state n i seriously cannot b more bothered to care bout wad others think.maybe i should juz try givin a fuck and it'll help.
but rite now.i don gif a shit bout being refined.i seriously don.
fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.fuck life.
this entry seriously sucks so i don think anyone should read it.fuckin hell.i wish it would go awae.sigh.i should smile more.(:
i don mind spending everyday out with you in the pouring rain.
"pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work"
aristortle.

i did a rough sketch at 7:57 PM

Sunday, September 19, 2004

thanks to those who wished me happy birthdae.
expected many of u to forget.isnt anythin special anywae.

its hard to get there but i am goin to get there.
im not goin to TRY to get there.
i MUST get there.

i did a rough sketch at 7:30 PM

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

i wish i could give up right now.
but i cant.
i wan it real badly.i cant gif up right now.

i did a rough sketch at 10:32 PM

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

lets all go learn punkgonomics instead.


well hi to all hu reads this.
im suppose to be doin the badminton attendance list now.den go back and do stuff.but im like slackin now.im in no mood to do anythin.so i decided to update.don think i'll be updatin in a while anywae.i dono.my birthdae is round the corner but i don feel it at all.but i don feel anythin wenever my birthdae's round the corner so doesnt matter.well.life's been like tad.
had a talk wif sonn and tjl and stuff.wells im gona do it and i hope i get it sonn.well i'll try darn hard.sonn must try wif me k.mondae was another borin dae.yvonne ng was bein a total bitch.i swear she can win an award for "bitch of the century" or no..no.."bitch of the millenium"..3 mroe chapters to go.u sae "i can finish tchin".dude its a matter of whether we can finish studyin or not.we're not like u u noe.i seriously don understand y the tchers cant try to understand students abit more and back off.is this realli a life of a student?now i noe y patients in the mental hospital are goin up.not only are tchers/senile people admitted..students are goin in too.thanks to the great moe.i suggest they open up another mental institute called "moe mental institute" fer students and tchers to go in.o den again they would haf to open up more den one den coz there would be an overpopulation of students.
rest of the subs i cant even catch up.there's chem and all these redox reactions are givin me a headache.its too late to get tuition.den there's amaths.i practice like shit but i don get the results i wan.m i too complacent?there's emaths which is..sigh..i dono..den there's lit.ms selva is gone its mr armstrong now.sigh.i dono.i've juz gotta try my best.
justin the camp assitant chief gay messaged us todae.and i tot it was yana.im so freaked out.he's gay.haha.tads wad sonn and i think la.
ok i think my entry is long enough to last a week.i don wana upate anymore.feel like sleepin.im a ppig.i slept the whole afternoon can.wad the hell rite.shit ass me.sucks dick and balls.
ciao.
song of the dae - obviously[mcfly]

i did a rough sketch at 9:09 PM

Friday, September 10, 2004

lets all go learn punkgonomics.


hello hello hi hi
im finally bloggin after 5 daes.left the camp blog on fer so long.i seriously do miss it.sigh.ok anywae wadeva la.i've got to move on.
so this week has been...like shit..nah la it was qutie ok.i shall only blog bout todae.im too lazy.had this faggot dream last nite.it means quite alot to me.well i dono.woke up watched tennis fer abit.darn.rodderick lost.how could he.he plays wif style.blah blah.met my mum.wen to jb.i made new specs.its silver.shiok shiok.it looks wierd on my face but i like the fact that its new and tad i haf a new look.yea wadeva manda.got more polo shirts from body glove or smth like tad.funkaye.o yea wen i reached malaysia i puked.motion sickness.thanks to my darlin mum hu made me feel in the forms.it looked darn sick.lets drop the subject.had teppanyaki fer dinner.at cck.o yea i got mooncakes too.lolx.
its been a long week.many things haf happened.i dono if im doin the right thin and im the one gettin myself into this big crap.sigh.i dono wad to do.but im fallin deeper and deeper.at least i haf until after the exams to think bout it.
gracious society indeed.[reflection for the dae]
happened to be listenin to the radio in the mornin wen dan and grace were tokin bout courtesy in singapore or smth.i heard some shit tads seriously shockin.how can anyone ever sae tad.k its like there was this gal doin flag dae and she approached this guy fer donations and wen she asked "sir would u like to donate" the bugger saed "get a life".wad the hell is the world comin too.this other guy messaged dan saein tad we all can tell singapore has no courteous people coz we're the only country tad celebrates courtesy dae or smth like tad.people are juz so inconsiderate and stuff.everyone is lookin out fer themselves only.why?
yea was chattin wif my mum todae.todae is like one of those daes where i actualli haf long chats wif my mum bout life.told her stuff bout people bout y everyone wants to turn out in one kind of wae.why everyone wants to look out only fer themselves.why people can juz accept hu they are.and y everyone wants to be in the lime light.y cant people juz stop thinkin bout themselves fer once and think bout others.sigh.the more i think bout it the more i wana go there.but then agian its gona be hard.i told my mum tad many people juz wana study hard.get certs.get degree.get office jobs.get good pay.get status.thats their life and that actually motivates em.money.root to all evil.my mum saed tads y i don pressurize u to study.u should thank god fer a mother like me.seriously my mum is darn ego.thanks god.half the people readin this would so not understand wad the hell im saein but its ok u don haf to.this is my blog.im juz writin down everything tads goin round in my head.tad explains the mess and y im jumpin all over the place.
sigh seriously there's more to life den those.no one sees it tho.only few can see it but out of the few how many actually make tad effort to do somethin bout it?hoe many actually try?how many tried but gave up after one fall?
am i up to it?can i do it?is it me?haf i seen wad others cant see?m i good enough?is tad wad i realli wan to do?is tad wad i realli wan to give my life up for?its a whole life.am i willing to give it all up?can i bear to leave everythin else here?take nuthin and walk awae?its gona be hard.
but life wouldnt be at all meaningful if i dont become it.
i'm fightin towards my goal.knowin tad my mum supports me all the wae through.i would haf no regrets and gif myself all up.i m no average punk.help me lord.i believe i can do it.
ciao.
song of the dae - hold on together.


i did a rough sketch at 6:56 PM

Monday, September 06, 2004

and all the rest can [go fly kite].



HELLO EVERYBODY.
MANDA'S BACK IN THE HOUSE AGAIN!!
*additional part at the bottom.[coz i wont be bloggin fer a while.im gona put some more added stuff i wana sae bout wad i've learnt in the camp]
omg i juz came back from camp and the camp was darn good tad im already missin it now.im darn tired and want to go to bed but den i juz haf to blog bout this first.gona tell ya wad happened durin the camp.shall do the dae one dae two thing altho i noe its gona be long and people are gona be pek cek to read it but hu cares.let me shout out to the ones first coz we juz rock big time.thanks to char.angie.sheila.sally.seeta.lesley.feline. andrea.paul.amos.jeff.ken.shirley.rohan.jonas.peklyn.kampoo.mabel.myself and 2 others tad i forgot.[sorry but im darn tired now so yea]

day one
seriously i was feelin very pek cek on tad dae.i was like shit y did i join the camp.and wen i heard tad we were gona be in seperate grps and all.i was like shit i don wana go anymore.why did i get myself into this camp.so den we had briefin.got into our grps.had 3 grps.i was in the first one.called ourselves the ones.ice breaker.was kinda alrite.gotta noe everyone better.like their names and stuff.our dear instructor yana came late.shit shes the best instructor can.she's juz too good to be true.did our flag.everyone saed it was the nicest and best flag.thanks.did angel mortal game.i noe it sounds stupid but hey was quite ok in the end k.got to noe more bout myself and stuff.did song session and practiced songs fer campfire nite.
had lunch.shit the food was darn good can.and before we eat we had to answer a qs.i'll show u how we do it wen i see u guys.its seriously darn farnie.and we cant eat if we don answer tad qs before evry meal time.shiok ar.after lunch.checked in and den we had activities.to be honest first dae of activities i tot of it as shit la.was fun we tried to cooerperate but juz wasnt tad good.ouor grp was the previlieged one la.we did the mud first and thanks to tad i had super stinky shoes fer the rest of the camp.so we had to crawl in this pool of mud.got scratches on my hands coz of it.mine was like quite bad la.we also had ballon crater.blow the ballon and den put it between u and the person in front of u and den walk and den bend down to pick up ur bottles[which was at random on the road].played 3d spiderweb too.everything was ok.but we all could tell we lacked communication and stuff.
showered.we were given one hr fer like 6 people in a room to shower.wad the hell rite.o did i add tad wen we were late or did smth wrong or stuff the chief pep[ma'am] would make us get into pumpin positions and do push ups.had dinner after shower.den we had candle war.shit tad game was darn good.we are all given a small candle like the birthdae cake size ones and den we had to light the candle from the base candles den we walk over to the other teams and usin our flames try to burst the other team'a balloons.was seriously darn hard to play and darn farny.enjoyed myself.the game lasted fer 2 hrs den we wen back to haf supper and de-brief fer the dae.had bread and we discussed wif our instructor yana on how we tot we performed and stuff and what our mistakes were.lights out at 11.was darn tired.slept at 11 plus 12.char was scared.my little toe nail was danglin in the air.
dae two.
woke up at 7.morinin excercise.ran round the park.shit justin[sir] ran so fast such a shit head k.had breakfast.was heavy beehoon.many people wasted alot.after tad had 3-way captain's ball.tad game was darn good can.had 4 rounds.1st roound.one ball[football size].ball was 5 points.we played.second round.2 balls[tennis ball n football].one was 5points other was 10 points.3rd round.3balls[tennis.football.ping pong.]4th round.3 balls and 1 "ball".they only introduced it in the later half of the round.guess wad came out..a piece of raw cold whole chicken.and we had to use the chicken to play captain's ball.wth.but it was darn fun all the same.den we did basic marchin skills.was cool fun and darn tirin.i understnad ur plight now all red cross and guides people.
lunch.changed.we did camp prep coz weather didnt allow us to do the water activity.den after wen the rain stopped we did this activity called squeeze and spread.gals one grp.guys one grp.wen chief pep showed the signal we would all squeeze together and hook arms and cling onto everyone tightly.the chief and instructors would den start pullin tryin to grab one person out of the grp.the guys managed to succedd fer all rounds but i think 2 people got pulled out from the gals in all the rounds.but durin the last round all of us fite like shit.the gals and the guys.the instructors and chief had this wae la.they attacked one person from each grp.so yea.fer the gals rite.sonia and i and lesley got attacked the most la.they carried lesley legs.they tried to grab me coz i was on the outside and nobody was holdin my waist.everyone grabbed.shit i tot i was goin to die.sonia and all were goin "manda hold on grab us.."in the end i resorted to bitin.i bit my instructor.yana.shit darn sorry.yea landed on the floor didnt get pulled out.chief stopped the thing wen i was on the floor.she looked kinda shocked and she kept askin me if i was ok.i think she tot i wen into shock or smth la.haha.darn farnie.sonia was darn poor thing.they carried her and all.sonia was hookin onto me and i was hookin on the lesley.so they grabbed sonia.and den me n i bit the guy instructor and justin.and den grabbed lesley and den me again.and sonia.shit son and i were hangin fer dear life.people grabbed me.i asked sonia to sit on my lap and kick the instructors.was darn fun man.we learnt lots from tad activity.
showered.camp prep.den dinner.den we had campfire.was darn good.our grp did a skit.we acted as the cheif and all.i was yana la.after the campfire everyone started callin me yana.even yana herself.how excitin ar.we had loadsa fun loadsa new cheers loadsa fun stuff.i like the "chikichachikichachikachachacha" one.darn fun.had supper den de-brief.this time it was much better and everyone in the grp felt bonded and stuff.cheif saed lights out at 2am.shiok rite.den wen to the beach wif yana.toked.sang.had fun.wen back to the extra chalet we had.toked.i fell asleep and woke up at 220 and they were tellin ghost stories.heard one bout yishun jc.yana told us.char was freaked out.wen to bed.
dae three
woke up at 7plus.shit-ted.both char and i had to shit and my almost came out thanks to shirley hu was hoggin the toilet.skipped excercise.yea.had breakfast.toked free time.oto.area cleanin.den oto again.read our angel mortal thing.ate lunch and tata the camp endin.durin oto our grp bonded and stuff.
overall the camp was darn good and i miss it.was the 2nd dae tad made us so bonded and stuff.gona miss everyone.o we sang "hold on together" is it??the land before time song.im too tired and im all in a daze now.so i cant remember sang it darn alot of times.esp wif yana coz she likes tad song alot.sae we sang it bout like 10 times.not exaggeratin.learned alot from tad activities there.every activity showed leadership skills and stuff.loved it all.
anywae im darn tired im goin to bed.good nite everyone.i miss camp.
the most important lesson learnt at the end of the dae.[im gona do this in proper eng]
from this camp i have actually learn that communication between group mates in the team is extremely important.during the camp i learnt how to communicate and work together with a big group of people [21].the activities played during the camp that teamwork and unity is very important for a team to succeed in whatever they are doing because without teamwork and unity the team would fall apart and therefore would not be able to achieve anything.i've also learnt that sometimes it sucks being a leader [and i totally agree].you get people who do not want to listen to you and stuff like that but i guess that at the end of the day if you achieved something with your "team-mates" or whoever they may be it would actually feel darn good.
a good leader is one who can influence people not because of position but they do it using their hearts.[someone told me this before (:]
so im going to leave you guys with something my instructor told me.well actually wrote to me.always remember: in a team every single person is important.to be a good leader u MUST love your members.its true don u think so.well im gona get some ciao now.see ya.
ciao.
song of the dae - little green frog.




i did a rough sketch at 2:34 PM

Friday, September 03, 2004




life is a rollar coaster.juz got to ride it.



hey there.
i juz finished dinner.was kinda shitty coz it wen songy.had to clear my room first.needed to make space fer all my books.first time in my whole life i actualli brot books back home like 3-4 weeks before exams.darn good.
omg i swear.we must not haf the mission trip on deepavali week or we can haf it provided i get back before the 13th nov.ive got confi.but i mite skip confi fer the trip.i need to be "physically" confirmed before i can be "spiritually" confirmed.i noe u all think im mad.but is the trip realli gona be of use?
bag was darn heavy todae.i swear it almost broke la.imagine the amount of books under my table all goin into one humongous bag.shit it was gross.thank god my mum came to pick me up.
so started the dae wif chem.was kinda fine.got back ca.failed.i expected it la.didnt even study fer that paper.was doin fuckin chinese.yea wadeva.ms teow was sick.get well soon!!hist after tad.everything was pretty normal todae.so we had army openhouse.was kinda funkaye.played warfare.and all the time kyle was askin me to try warfare.i didnt noe.i tot he saed try the live firin.haha.blur me.we only did 2 items.warfare and sittin in tanks and chauffered around the whole place.wen bac to skool.[safti is so near my house la] we were one of the earliest classes to get back can.like got bac at 610.omg our class has a new class song.darn cool.and sonia and i haf a new hist song.here goes:
i m mousilini[however u spell it].and i like to eat spagetthi.
i m friends wif hitler and we haf good times together.
i m from italy and i wan to make it bigger.
using facism.im gona build up my kingdon.
k tad this is bout hitler.haha.darn good.
my name is hitler and my ball got bitten by a goat..[its true]
i wonder how it happened i guess i was juz high on "coke".
son-ai-ya.we rock man.
mum came liek at 650 plus.so much fer the "will pick you up before 630".she saed she ahd some retreat back there.yea like wadeva.so wen to get food and den got back home.
im kinda excited fer the camp but yea den again im not.shit i suck rock.yea.so everyone saed my berms was nice.and it is.i think im not gona use it fer the camp.gona wear it after the camp.wen we go out and stuff.are we goin out??
o by the wae.can we wear berms on wed wen we get back to skool?
i wont be updatin fer 3 daes.darn.
this is specially for you-
fuckin typin this fer the 2nd time coz com hung.im not gona make this a big huha thing coz if i do.you would noe hu you are.wad the hell do u think u're doin.do u noe wad we think of u now.its practically fucked.wads the point of doin anything now.wads the point of even doin anything.its not tad i hate u or anythin but this sucks.can u spare a thought fer us.we were supose to haf "tad thing" but now wad for.wad for wen its not gona be the same anymore.why should we even bother tryin.u probably wouldnt even appreciate it.why?! u suck bcoz u're the best we ever had and things had to turn out this wae.im not lookin forward to anything coz of you.u sort of spoil everything.but den u're takin it so litely.u don even seem to care.im darn upset.i don wan it to happen.please.
god i pray that u bless my soul.
ciao.
song of the dae - hello houston [starting line]



i did a rough sketch at 9:45 PM

Thursday, September 02, 2004



i hope that you know i'm wondering where you are.



hello all.
welcome to my world.lolx.the after effects of talkin to perry lam.omg omg.i got the fuckin nice white roxy berms.its darn nice.i love it.thanks aL and lyn fer goin shoppin wif me.i like the gio polo shirt tad i got too.s seems juz rite n it kinda goes well wif my nice white berms.
todae was a long dae.omg.u noe wad.ms selva is leavin.she's fuckin gona go leave us and now we're back wif mr armstrong.i cant believe it!!y does ms selva have to go.i'm gona miss her so so much.so anywae.we had our lit ca todae.and i b.s. like shit.seriously.i'm so gona fail this crappy lit ca plus now "legweak" is markin it.sigh.emaths was a-ok.mrs mah came in.she returned our emaths ca.darn good.i passed my ca.darn happy bout it.lalalala.and the dae wen on.was feelin darn pms-y durin chem eng and bio.ms teow didnt come.ms teo was pissed at us.ms ng was being a total airhead.isnt she alwaes?kk manda dont start bitchin.got back our long long long time ago bio ca.fuck la.i passed like by a few marks.fuck.kk lets not tok bout all this fuckedup crap shit stuff.
end of skool.wen to orchard.ate beef noodles at scotts.lalala.manda is a happy girl now.gona bring the berms tmr fer the army open house.lolx.gona get some ciao now.
ciao.
song of the dae - the new pugjelly one.cant remember the song title.

i did a rough sketch at 6:52 PM

Wednesday, September 01, 2004




i hope its juz me being narrow minded.


hello hello hihi.
changed my template to this narrow minded me one.coz i think im being narrow minded now.lolx.not exactly but yea the other one was too morbid and stuff.but i think this one is as retarded.wells.i feel a little fucked tho.i shant sae y.i hope its seriously juz me and tad im juz bein a lil narrow minded and stuff.i hope i hope.
wen fer the camp briefin todae.saw the people hu are goin fer the camp.there's scholars n jc people and we would all be grouped randomly.darn.after the briefin wen to sonia's house to bake carrot cake.darn it was darn good.seriously sonia we should do more of this.manda and sonia has some hidden talents.
wen out in the afternoon to orchard.sonia's mum dropped me off.was walkin to heeren wen i met char and aL.i juz knew it.i knew i was goin to meet char.so den we walked around.den after quite some time.they saw wad they wanted to see and then they headed fer taka.i wen to eat at yoshi wif someboddy.walked around.stuff and laladedada.shant elaborate.
oh my god oh my god.saw this darn nice berms.shit i wan it.managed to convice my mum to gif me 60bucks to get the stuff i need fer camp.so im gona get the berms.but my mum saed somethin bout it bein white.well she has a point la.its gona get fuckin dirrty and stuff.but its darn nice and i wan it.
k here's the list of stuff im goin wif aL char and lyn to get.
-my berms [shit.im darn excited]
-polo shirt
and i cant be bothered to remember the rest coz i need to go eat now.
ciao.
song of the dae - anthem of our dyin dae [story of the yr]

i did a rough sketch at 7:40 PM

the artist in the ambulance.

amanda ang.
190989.
chijtp(sec).
acjc.
roman catholic.

no use for a name.

3/4
aL
alicia
bc
cc
carrie
charlene
charleen
cheryledina
claire
cherilyn
dwong
dRea dragon
eedee
ele
eleen
gilllian
gretchen/fastpoke
gloria
glory
kyna
leighanne
malvin
majo
michelle law
nat ho
nicole ds
mr ng
patt
perry lam
roy
roseann
sonia
second storey
ming
jazryl
jessie
jeannine
joanna
wicked aura
world vision

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